Stairway to Heaven: Chapter 1 by GoddessAkari

There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
-Led Zepplin, Stairway to Heaven

“God,” Jhudora muttered, flopping onto her throne. She shook her head.

“God,” she sighed again.

It had not been a good day for Lady Jhudora. There had been the Light Faerie incident, and then the Healing Springs had burst a pipe and, souls alive, did that make a mess. She huffed and looked away from the too cheery, too pink and cute decorations of Faerieland around her, staring into the wispy masses of her own wonderful dark cloud. Below her the dark water pool ripped and shone like water, but stiffened like glass to the touch. Puffs of neon green and purple steam rose around her, and she closed her eyes and exhaled, leaning back in her throne. She reached into an ornate bowl by her chairside and drew out a toy. It had been a ball and paddle, but she had removed the ball and replaced it with a little earth faerie. As she beat the little pixie back and forth against the paddleboard, concentrating on her tiny high-pitched shrieks, she smiled.

That little prat Illusen would be SO angry.

She had never liked Illusen. The little Earth Faerie was too snippy, too self-righteous. Country bumpkin with an attitude, Jhudora mused. If one was going to be a snotty little witch, at least have the appearance to back it up. Besides, Illusen was ancient, and she still had freckles. Jhudora wondered briefly why Illusen had never bothered to get those fixed when she turned, oh, 300 or so. The freckles simply screamed “HILLBILLY!” and made her look 12-years-old besides. And what was with those silly wings? Was she actually wearing LEAVES for wings? And those cut off gloves? With a robin hood dress? And that br-

“HAIL LADY JHUDOOOOORA!!!” a shrill voice shrieked.

Jhudora looked up and regretted it immediately, sighing. Before her stood a short, stocky girl with pale skin and purplish-reddish hair. She was dressed in all black velvet and her eyes were drowned in black eyeliner; she held a bored looking blue wocky who swished her tail back and forth, watching the steam rise. A quester- and not just any quester, a “I am a loyal devoted servant to our Lady Jhudora and she rocks and all the other faeries can kiss my butt because Queen Jhudora rules ALL! YAY JHUDORA!” quester. Jhudora wondered if Illusen had this problem, and figured she probably did. Only Illusen probably had it worse, what with that lowcut neckline and short skirt. Illusen must have had…fanboys. Jhudora shuddered in a mix of horror and pleasure, nearly frightened at the thought of some drooling fanboy who devoted all his time to Illusen merchandise, video games, his Illusen shrine webpage, the internet, chatrooms, online virtual pet sites, and comic books suddenly coming to the dark side to worship and throw himself at Jhudora’s feet.

The pleasure came from knowing that Illusen must have tons of these little fungi to deal with.

Jhudora returned her attention to the little goth-wannabe standing before her.

“What do you want NOW?” Jhudora barked.

“I believe it’s time for another quest, My Lady Jhudora, who is supreme to all!”

Jhudora sighed. The quests had been a good idea at first. It was a good way to make Illusen mad, it gained her publicity, loyal minions, she got needed spell components easily and quickly, and it was good for ticking off the players. She strung them along, giving them weak prizes, in hopes of something powerful and shiny and expensive, and just as it was within their grasp-BAM! She gave them an item to find that was either WAY out of their budget or they could never get within the measly 16 minutes she gave them. Yes, it had been a clever idea, and the worshippers were nice at first, but then they started to get annoying. Some downright creeped Jhudora out, which was an amazing accomplishment, seeing as she was a high ranking Dark Faerie.

She leaned forward, appearing deep in thought about what to assign this little peon. She was on level 17, and all the quests had been easy thus far. ‘Good,’ thought Jhudora. ‘More painful later on.’

“Ah, um, fetch me a Blumaroo Steak. Hurry! You only have 16 minutes, you little twit!”

The girl nodded, wide eyed.

“Yes, my lady Jhudora! Right away!” she screamed, scurrying off.

Jhudora huffed again, exasperated. Things could not get any worse.

“Jhudora,” chimed a high, silvery voice.

Ah, thought Jhudora, there’s Murphy’s law now.

“Yes, Psellia?” inquired Jhudora in mock sweetness. She smiled quickly, showing sharp, white teeth. Psellia the Air Faerie instantly put her guard up, her aura souring.

Jhudora was NEVER sweet unless A) she wanted something B) she was playing you for a fool C) she was planning your demise or D) all of the above. It was usually choice D.

“Queen Fyora needs to speak with you. You are unauthorized to exist here…ever since that little…incident.”

Jhudora narrowed her eyes at the mention of that event and looked at Psellia like a viper ready to snatch a mouse, bite it, swallow it whole, then puke up its bones to play darts. It would’ve had the desired affect (paralysis by fear) on Psellia, but unfortunately, Jhudora’s hair was styled to cover one eye, and so Psellia was only made extremely nervous and uncomfortable.

“S-she said it was urgent. You know not to cross her; you know what happened LAST time…”

Indeed Jhudora did remember what had happened: she could never forget. Her temper (and every other Faerie in Neopia, for that matter) would not let her.

“…Get out…” Jhudora hissed. The green jewel on her collar flashed briefly. Psellia backed up slowly, gulping.

“I-I’d still go see Fyora if I were you…!” Psellia sputtered. Then, she turned tail and fled like a hunted cybunny.

Jhudora clenched her fists. Never in a million years would she go crawling back to the Faerie Queen just because she DEMANDED…

“Maybe you should, Jhudora. It might be…interesting at least.”

“…Well, nice of you to stop by….Maelstra.” Jhudora whispered, not needing to look up. She knew what’d she see.

“Good to see you too, Jhudora. You think I’d forget my elder sister? Even after-”

“So it was you who released me then?” Jhudora finally looked up. She was surprised; Maelstra had changed. She was taller, had a new short hair cut…which was drastic, to say the least. Her clothes had changed, but that wasn’t so shocking. It happened after so many years. “You’ve changed,” she said.

“In some ways, yes. But then, so have you…” admitted Maelstra.

“No,” Jhudora shook her head. “I haven’t changed in the least.”

“Well, don’t let Fyora know that. She’s already fretting about you being here again.”

“Not worried?” Jhudora raised a brow.

“No. No, she’s not worried. Though she should be.”

“Why’s that?”

Maelstra smiled, an eerie, knowing smile.

“Because, we’re going to war again,” she whispered. – GoddessAkari