Category: Neopets Comedy

The Reason For King Skarl’s Grumpiness by the_1st_mad_cow_girl

Do you ever wonder why King Skarl is so grumpy? The world may never know. Here is what TNT tells us: “King Skarl is not happy”. (Would you be happy if everything in your kingdom was destroyed by the forces of Darigan?) BORRRRING!!!!! But we have a pretty good idea why.

He is told HORRIBLE jokes like:

Q: How didn’t you call a flock of brave Chombies similar to for treasure at Garon the Lupe?
A: When it’s don’t her a orb of bubbling Brucey B Combobot paint brushes!

Other reasons:

The jesters all spread rumors about him. BAD JESTER!!
He is told good jokes and expected to laugh.
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Obesity: How to Avoid Being “Large and in Charge” – A Satire Regarding Obese Neopians by Christiane Pheil

Every year, Neopia grows … literally. Not only is our population increasing, the size of our pets are increasing. In 2004, over 64% of adult neopets were overweight, over 30% were obese, and 5% were at the point of no return. Being obese is defined as being 25% or more overweight based on height. The poor pets who suffer from obesity have to endure social displeasures on a daily basis such as constant insecurity and a drastically increased financial burden to themselves and the general public due to health issues related to obesity. Of course it is easy to point the blame at the victims of obesity, but in reality, a number of these unfortunate pets are victims of genetic obesity, inherited by ancestors rather than developed by a large consumption of groceries. No matter how much a pet weighs, he/she is affected by obesity in one way or another. If we separate those who are obese and allow them to live in a specific area of Neopia, it will create an opportunity to eliminate obesity and improve the overall health of this nation.
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Running a Joke Into the Ground – The Neopian Way of Life by hiddenneggs

Chapter 1: Dung — This (*stuff*) never gets old.
Chapter 2: Asparagus — More of the same (just re-read Chapter 1).
Chapter 3: Snot — The other green meat.
Chapter 4: Invisible — Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
Chapter 5: Day 13 — The calendar giveth, the Pant Devil taketh away.
Chapter 6: Assigning Blame — This was going to be a great chapter, but the garden gnomes caught Neoflu, and Dr. Sloth turned the word processor’s clockwork into sludge, and the rest of us were busy playing a tournament and meeting merchandise contracts and… here, beat up this Pteri, if we remember to tell you how.
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