You Know You’ve Had Too Much Neopets When…

You know you’ve had too much Neopets when…

… you are redecorating your living room and think of the best way to “layer” your furniture to create a piece you don’t have.
… you paint your dog spotted and insist on calling it Lupe.
… you walk into a real bank and ask to take out 500 neopoints.
… you do your homework Neopets style. “A Lupe gives eighteen Acaras ninety green jellies from Jelly World. If each Acara is able to eat three jellies from Jelly World before it’s bloated, how many jellies will be left over, if all Acaras become bloated?” (None, Jelly World doesn’t exist, so there wouldn’t have been any jellies in the first place)

… you insist on naming your new turtle ‘glittergurl23212943’.
… you take glittergurl23212943 to your local Martial Arts school, in an attempt to raise his ‘stats’.
… You took rocks to the school as payment. When the instructor refused to accept them or teach glittergurl23212943, you chucked them at him, but then ran back and retrieved them, fretting about how much money your precious ‘codestones’ are worth.
… you get a cold, you mope about for days on end, sobbing about how you’ve been frozen. When you feel better, you write TNT a letter thanking them for ‘de-frosting [you]’.
… you ask your mom to make glowing jelly and tigersquash corndogs for supper.
… your friends laugh at your for referring to dung and asparagus too much.
… you feed your neopet before your dog or cat.
… a kid at school swears and you run off to report them.
… you insist on getting your pet gerbil a petpet.
… you think that your itchy head is caused by mootix.
… you examine the floor carefully, hoping to find some neopoints.
… you dump your cell phone and use the Glophone.
… you go trekking in search of the money tree.
… you hire a jet to look for Faerieland.
… you fling a pea at your friend and shout SUPER ATTACK PEA!!!
… you convince a map publisher to come up with a map of Neopia.
… you’re shocked that the notice board at school isn’t covered in guild and shop advertisements.
… you keep trying to put various items into a cooking pot, attempting to get some item in return.
… you think your financial woes can be solved by playing a few games on the internet. (Although for some people it can happen…)
… you let your class play on Neopets as a class assignment. (Bonus: give neopoints for good work.)
… you’re painting your dog with a white paint brush so he looks cooler.
… you’re giving your little cat an insect and imagining it to be a petpetpet.
… you’re ruining your toys to ‘make them be worth more’.
… you get mad at the bank director because he wont give you a daily interest.
… you find money on the ground and think, what a lucky random event!!
… your friends and family have been calling you and leaving messages for days, so they give up and neomail you, even though they don’t play neopets.
… a job application asks you to list accomplishments and honors and you consider putting: “First Place at Mystery Pic x2, Guild leader of Meow If You Love Anime (members: 91), Published in the Neopian Times, and Darigan Battlemaster (880 points)”.
… you believe that libraries should be shut down so that books become more profitable.
… you’re shocked when your teacher tells you that your newspaper editorial is completely wrong and that your newspaper article shouldn’t be written in first person.
… you buy a can of orange paint and many paint brushes, dreaming of how many neopoints you’re going to make.
… you try to haggle at every shop you go to. Bonus points if, when they get mad at you, you exit the shop and re-enter, starting over.
… you wonder how someone can have the same name as you, without any changes to it or numbers or underscores added.
… you bid on ebay and try to resell at ebay again (forgetting about the shipping charges).
… you go into a shop the 3rd of the month and pretend to buy everything half-priced (and if the shopkeeper refuses, your answer is “you’re reported!”).
… you go to your local store and try to sell them a flea for $100,000.
… someone calls you a name, you scream “I’M REPORTING YOU!”
… you paint a rubber duck black and try to knock people out with it.
… you’re amazed that you can buy a map at your local store, and it’s only ONE piece! Plus, it’s only $1.00!! You chuckle, and say under your breath, “hehehe.. New Member.”