Neopets Unimaginable
From toilet training (tries not to picture it) to burping competitions (sounds fun), these quirky lines will definitely tickle your fancy as some of the wackiest loonies from the neopian world submit these lines, comments, (whatever you want to call them for everyone to laugh at.

whay ohh! tallkwonken fun huh?
Clara Mojica klarissa@citlink.com

A chia says, �Try this chia outfit on pal.� �No way!� replies an aisha �Chias can have rabies!� �I�m gonna get you! Oh, and by the way, so can aishas!� says the chia.
Fred Buelow Buelow@webnexus.com

Oops, i did it again.
Berrykiss24@aol.com

a neopet will never do is go to the toliet!!!hahahahahha
JingWen Zhang jingwzhang@hotmail.com

You will never hear a neopet say...." Don't hate me because im beautiful, hate me cuz i know it and your neoman thinks so!!!"
Jenny Watson angelhottie2000@earthlink.net

My neopet would never eat frost animal crackers during the summer time while�
shampooing naked birds with santa hats on!
FrackBoneFrickTrainSweetD FrackBoneFrickTrainSweetD frackbonefricktrainsweetd@hotmail.com

Scorchio:Sure, Kacheek you can have first place in the popular neopets!
Neil Loach neilloach@hotmail.com

please don't feed me
Steve Wagner ironclad_weevil@hotmail.com

my yellow Chia: Yoh man, I'm pretty fli for a�cool chi...(he can't rym)
era era@pandora.be

neopets will never have babies because there has to be a boy neopet and a girl neopet who love each other very much...
Sue sueathome@mediaone.net

ur the worst owner
3,608,592,616 dollars and 38 cents plz
Vickie Ulis seramuun@hotmail.com

I gave my pet IceFire2001, the Wocky, an Apple Juice to drink. When I finished she says, "That was nice, but how about something to drink?"
Anna Levin superstar804@yahoo.com

O.K. my sister who is 5 years old.Can't fit throw my bedroom door.Becase she is so fat.
Melinda mss@nightowl.net

you offer your neopet an apple pie and your pet says "put this in your
pie-hole for me!" then a little animation pops up showing your pet throwing the pie at you! lol!
LK2BOAT@aol.com

you better not lay a finger on my Buttered Faerie Toast!
Sarah Moore gnasj@yahoo.com

a peach is a peach
a plum is a plum
but a kiss ain't a kiss with out any tounge
so open your mouth
and close your eyes
and give your tounge some exercise
Virtualboy809@aol.com

My kougra would never eat pancakes because the syrup gets all over his nice furr and he can't clean himself fast enough!
Stephanie Whiteside stephw@bigpond.net.au

elephante: hello, my name is mr burns, i believe you have a letter for me.
kau: ok 'mr burns', we just need to know your first name
elephante: i don't know
kylie the cow elusions_15@hotmail.com

Elephante> does this dress look fat on me?
Wing Sham jki888@pacbell.net

Chia: So, WAZZAAAAP!!!
Meerca: Watchin a game, havin a neocola
Chia: true... true.
Poogle: Hey! Who you talking to?
Meerca: It's Chia...
Poogle: WAZZAAAP!!!
Poogle: Yo, Elefante, pickup the neophone
Elefante: WAZZAAAP!!!
Chia: AAAAhh!!
Meerca: AAAAhh!!
James Shao silentninja505@hotmail.com

Cindy would never say to her boyfriend:
Bob the Uni: Hey want to go to the movies to have some fun?
Cindy the uni: Sorry it's mating season and I have
a date with the pant devil! so seeya!!!!!!! ha ha ha!
Michael David Johnston mandl_johnston@bigpond.com

A scorchio will never say, "Scor, scor scorchi schorchio."
An aisha will never say, "Ai, Aisha, Aish, Aish Aisha."
A jub jub will never say, "Jub, jubjubjub."
Basically, a neopet will never be a pokemon because neopets are better!
CrAzAyAnGeL2003@aol.com

A weak neopet will never say to a stronger one, "Sure, I'd love for you to
kick my ass in the battledome!"
Carrie633@aol.com

up your ziggy with a waa waa brush
kool_luvz@gurlmail.com

Can't we play ball instead of fighting in the battledome. Pease!!!
G & G Lennon gazzgee@ozemail.com.au

PusyWillow2000:Look! LlamaQueen! Im going through puberty! (Need I say
more?)
vinsir

Things a pet will never say is talk some smack in�"h4><or"(Hacker) talk, like the following...."ph3412 m3, m3 1337, j00 12 n0 m47ch ph012 my m4I) 5ki11z. VVi7n355 my p312ph3c7i0n." Hope the no hackers can unscramble it. The answer will be written in reverse order. ".noitcefrep ym ssentiW .slliks dam ym rof hctam on era uoy�,etile em ,em raeF"

Things Neopets will never say is "All your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time." Hah! (For the newbies who don't get it, go to www.allyourbase.net for some laughs) In short, it is a badly translated game called "Winged Zero" *lol*
Seong Ho Kil kshsgo@hotmail.com

A neopet would never do the dutch klompendance.
And after that sing the birdy song.
Fam.Teunissen j.teunissen10@chello.nl

A shoru is cooking and he goes to sleep on an oven that he's fixing and
someone come and wakes him up and says "wow, you fix things really fast"
because the oven is hot again.
jdeng jdeng@email.msn.com

pikachu!
Archangelsk

"oh yes! of course you can rub that rainbow-colored paintbrush all over my fur, just because you've got tired of my real color..."
ANDERS TRYGVE KV�RNDAL kvaerndal@c2i.net

"Pika-pikachu! ^_^"
BebiEevee@aol.com

"You'll have to pay me to keep my mouth shut about your little crush on donna
Williams."
ObiWan11Kenobi@aol.com

A neopet will never eat chicken noodle soup with 3 frogs in its mouth if the�
little green canines don't come over the hill tomorrow or on the 12th of�
september
Nick Bourke njb_86@hotmail.com

"meeeeee uuuuuuuuuu laaaaaaaaaaaa pottttttttttttttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"
Xandersgirl60693@aol.com

If Neopets wanted to get married, and have baby neopets, they won't say to�
each other 'Hey, want to git jiggy wit it?'
MidNiteKitsune@aol.com

*from the canadian beer commercial* "had EX today?"
Gummi Bear guineapig12@hotmail.comElephante: I think my butt looks fat in this....
Poogle: You can say that again!
Elephante: Why? Didn't you hear it??
Hehehe!!
Kate neomania@50megs.com

Lupe: I love you!
Aisha: I love you too!
Lupe: I - What the heck?! You've got four ears!!!
SchenkerFile@aol.com

"Daddy would you like some sausage?"
Alldogz@aol.com

"Caught me red handed banging with the girl next store. Bet you this we were�
both but naked banging on the bathroom floor"
WickedCat45@aol.com

2 neopets are hanging around with a jubjub. one is a wocky and the other is a�
kacheek.

jubjub: this @#%$ is good.
kacheek: hey jubjub... mabey you should stop...umm...puffing the magic dragon.
wocky: yeah jubjub.. that stuff it real bad for you.
jubjub: what would you know...that bug on your head is controlling your mind.
wocky: what are you talking about?
kacheek: see what i mean jubjub.. your seeing things again.
jubjub: what would you know kachook..
kacheek: that's kacheek.
jubjub: what ever...
jubjub stares at the wocky then looks back at the kacheek.
jubjub: hey! kacheek...why did you do that?
kacheek: do what?
jubjub: you turned wocky blue!
wocky: i am blue.
jubjub: aawww...don't be blue..cheer up.
wocky: no...my fur is blue.
jubjub: well tell your fur to cheer up...what ever it is the it cant be to�
bad.
wocky: that's it...im out of here...i tried to help you jubjub...but�
nnooooooo. just keep puffing...the next time i see you it will be when your�
going 6 feet under ground.
jubjub: i don't like the ground...i would rather be up here...in the clouds.
kacheek: im going to.
jubjub:NO...DONT GO OUT SIDE!!!!!
wocky: why?
jubjub: if you step out side my cloud you will fall and be splated.
wocky: yeah...right.
kacheek: im going now...good bye jubjub.
jubjub: ok...bye..see you later.
kacheek: no you wont.
jubjub: oh..ok...stop bye later.
wocky: yeah...with a recovery club.
jubjub: a club? cool..it it a night club?
kacheek and wocky leave the house and slam the door behind them
jubjub: well..its just you and me franky the super hotdog.
jubjub take's another puff and his pupils start dilating.
jubjub: wow franky.. i can see the sounds and here the colors.
Vegeta36X@aol.com

crackers12 the elephante : YOU KICK MY WARF! YOU COME AND RING MY DOORBELL AND YOU KICK MY WARF. HE NEEDS OPERATION. IM GONNA KILL YOU!*funny accent*
tupper_ware the korbat : you are gonna kill me *scared*
crackers 12 the elephante: JUST KIDDIN JUST KIDDIN :):):)
Carole rutwindc@telusplanet.net

"I don't want expensive faeries or codestones! I don't
want nerkmids! Just buy me a chia book or a bitten apple!!"
Laura Tor laura_tor@yahoo.com

poogle:hey master,could you buy me some tictacs?owner:okay i guess so,but
why you don't have bad breath!poogle:well actually they're for you!
Mark D. Feller happyfellers@juno.com

This is a very quirky saying an old techo might say to a newcomer,
"Whats your name, ya old city boy? My name Chundooo Mcpay, glad to meet you."
The newcomer says, " Why, my name is Skyscraper." The old techo replies:"
Boy, Girl, it, whatever, I must say bless my blue cheese container, but what
kind of a quacky name is that?" The newcomer says," Why your name is very,
er, strange its self...mcpay? Ha."
Abrcrmbie90@aol.com

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
NO ONE IS AS SWEET
AS SWEET AS YOU
Crazyangel1314@cs.com

"HEY LITTLE GIRL YOU WANT SOME CANDY?"
"OH WHAT THE HELL? YOUR CHANGING MY COLOR AGAIN?!!!"
hummelgrl hummelgrl@rcn.com

Hello I'm doctor cheeks, and I'll be doing my rounds now and I'm a little�
behind.
Viet Ngo marosorcerer@hotmail.com

1) Pika-Pik-Pikachu
2) I'm more of a Tamagotchi guy myself
3) This whole online pet thing is just a passing fad
4) (Insert random Marilyn Manson lyrics here)
Rich Frankel i-am-not@home.com

Poogley the plastic surgeon: Whoops, that nose job didn't turn out as well�
as I thought..I hope I do better next time...
Mutant Shoyru: Buddy, all I know is that there are ARMS coming out of my�
butt! You don't GET a next time!
Andrew Lucivero andyaml@hotmail.com

Neopets will never say to a lenny:�
YOU ARE THE WEAKEST NEOPET! GOODBYE!
TVohien@aol.com

Some people say neopoints makes the world go round,
However, neopoints is not everything, love is...
Luckily, I love Neopoints !
rulez_1 rulez_1@yahoo.com

why is a dragon big green and scaley?
because if it was small white and smooth it would be a tictac
Carmen Torman carmen.torman@inter.nl.net

*a fat lupe says this to a chia*:
come here! I'm gonna eat ya! I'm bigger than you, I'm higher in the food chian! get in my belly!!!
Elizabeth Florez eflorez@earthlink.net

sleep together in a pool
IckleMissShy@aol.com

kiss my ass
Orville Johnson" oj1@sympatico.ca

I wish my neopet would say:
I MOCK YOU WITH MY MONKEY PANTS!!!!!!!!
shiranui1@hotmail.com

my pet lynn berry walks into a bar and says "eat me, I'm a berry" then dr sloth comes up behind her gets out his net and says "gotta catch um all"
Erin mooer2@bellsouth.net

i whoded like one so i can give one to the porre
Marlane McMaster marlane@HotPOP.com

korbat:(to poogle) Let's get a room!
patricia&penny ppr@iprimus.com.au

a neopet would never say "I said feed me! not play with me you fool!"
KaNDaiKiD@aol.com 

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk past you again?
Valerie Kristbergs" valjan@worldnet.att.net

hey can you let me pick out the clothes next time cuz you have no taste
Fluffgirl02@aol.com

if someone brings in a brand new porto potty and the first person has to poo and goes the second person will know the first guy took a dump!!!
Linda Noble lnoble@ixpres.com

No neopets would ever say "Pikachu I choose you"
QwickSilvah@aol.com

1. Your Neopet will never tell you how tired and messed up your hair looks, when you get up at 3:30 in the morning to play Neopets.
2. Your Neopet will never say: "Maybe I should read you a few books to help you get smart."
3. Your Neopet will never say: "I smelt that!"
4. Your Neopet will never jump out off the screen and feed itself.
5. Your Neopet will never say to you: "Your a funny looking species, what should I name you?"
PerfectDaisy@aol.com

Do you want fries with that?
Jessica Reid jess3386@yahoo.com

Sing showtunes while juggling neggs with one paw.
Christine fidget_siam@yahoo.com

ok so your playing kacheek seek with your pet and when you start playing he lys down farts and sais nice try you know youll never impress me im the cool one around here
Eloise and Alex Timms kids@timms.iinet.net.au

They do not talk so what can they say? Even if they do they will not say I need the loo
Lim Jiexiang Soveralien@pacific.net.sg

My cute little Aisha was dying of hunger so I spent ages trailing round the shops with only 50 neopoints when I finally found an omelette for it (Using up all my neopoints!) and it wouldn't eat it!!!!
Simon Maggs Simon.Maggs@btinternet.com

"I think I'm going to turn into a human today!"
Kdropek@aol.com

Darth kau: Alright men, fire a blast across the ships nose........what the hell! I said across it, not up it!
Cross-eyed skieth: Sorry sir, Im doing my best..
Darth kau: Who is that?
Commander chia: He's an asshole sir....
Darth kau: I know that! Whats his name?!
Commander chia: That is his name sir, Phillip Asshole.
Darth kau: Who hired this guy?
Major skieth: I did sir, he's my cousin...
Darth kau: And who is he?!
Commander chia: He's an Asshole too, sir , a Major Asshole.
Darth kau: HOW MANY ASSHOLES DO WE HAVE ON THIS SHIP??!!
All hands on deck: *stands up* HO !
Darth kau:......I knew it...Im surrounded by assholes.......
shannon.ford shannon.ford@wanadoo.fr

A neopet will never box you in the face and say: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA".
admin@usacompany.cjb.net

Is that your final answer? 50/50? Ask the Audience? Phone a friend?
Jamila Scott

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Coltzan made me perfect, what happened to you?
moonstalker7955@aol.com

Your neopet will never say "I'm useless to you, I do no work, all you do is feed me! Please throw me in the pound!"
Cookiebean01@aol.com

I steal your underwear at night hehehehe!
Cookiebean01@aol.com

neopet: Wazzup my hommies.Wanna head back to my slammin crib and chill?
Beth Vand freakshow288@hotmail.com


Me:Ok, Dr Sloth, lets try and do your maths homework...if I add two beans to
the two beans on the table here, how many beans will I have?
Dr Sloth:Three beans
Me:Three beans?
Dr Sloth:And that one there
shoryu854@hotmail.com

Whew!! Was that you? (fans Face)
BabyBooHammer@aol.com

I had to send in a neomail that I got sent from my mate who I won't name! she said:

"You know what my neopet said to me??? She said that she hated some food that I bought her for 12K!!!! Talk about an ungrateful sod!"
_mystical_dancer_

The snowager looks cuddly I'm gonna go hug it ^.^
Lil_gemini_princess cutie_girl68@hotmail.com

"Um....why do you keep on eating my food?"
Amy Newlin aimless4ever@worldnet.att.net

Owner: Please go up to your room, I need to speak to your brother.
Neopet: No, I wanna hear this *sly grin*
Owner: *sigh* Would 200 neopoints help? 
Neopet: *grin* Yeppers Peppers! ( another word for yep!)
Jessica Chahin jessi_lc75@hotmail.com

What if a Neopets monitor emailed this to you? "Yo account wuz iced cuz you be talking' smack in da chatz, yo! If you got any mo' questinz, e-mail us wit yo usaname and da text o' da e-mail, aiiiiiiiiiight?" - Chromefox

====================
Submitted by Ashton Bancroft draconchaos@hotmail.com

Scary Announcer-Man Voice: Neoquest - Sloth�s Game. Your Neopets, like it or not, are attracted in their weaker years to the Cult. And a game like Neoquest fuels their imagination, and makes them feel �special� while drawing them deeper, and deeper into the bowels of evil. This afternoon, the Paranoid Neopian�s Guild invites you to sit in on an actual gaming session. Observe the previously un-observable as a hidden camera takes you into the inner-sanctum of NEOQUEST! (Insert scary music)

Draik - Grarrlstaf, you have entered the door to the north. You are now by yourself, standing in a dark room. The pungent stench of mildew emanates from the wet dungeon walls.

Kougra (yelling in background) - WHERE ARE THE CHEESY NEOS!!

Draik (yelling at kougra) - They�re right next to you.

Grarrl - I cast a spell!

Kougra - WHERE�S THE STRAWBERRY ACHYFI?

Draik - In the fridge, duh!

Grarrl - I wanna cast a spell!

Kougra - CAN I HAVE A STRAWBERRY ACHYFI?

Draik - YES! You can have a Strawberry Achyfi, just go get it!

Grarrl - I can cast any of these, right? On the list?

Draik - Yes, any of the first level ones.

Kougra - I�M GONNA GET AN ACHYFI, ANYONE WANT ONE? HEY DRAIK I�M NOT IN THE ROOM, RIGHT?

Draik - WHAT ROOM?

Grarrl - I wanna cast �magic pebbles�

Kougra - THE ROOM WHERE HE�S CASTING ALL THESE SPELLS FROM!

Draik - He hasn�t cast anything yet!

Grarrl - I am though, if you�d listen! I�m casting �magic pebbles�

Draik - Why are you casting magic pebble? There�s nothing to attack here.

Grarrl - I� I�m attacking the darkness!

{all laugh}

Draik - Fine, fine. You attack the darkness. There�s a Skeith in front of you.

Skeith - That�s me, right?

Draik - He�s wearing a shield, and he has red eyes, and he�s painted striped.

Skeith - No I�m not, I�m painted fire.

Draik - Lemme see that sheet.

Skeith - Well it says� It says I�m striped but I decided I wanted to be fire.

Draik - Well, whatever. You guys can talk to each other now if you want.

Grarrl - H� Hello.

Skeith - Hello.

Grarrl - I am Grarrlstaf, sorcerer of light!

Skeith - Then how come you had to cast magic pebble?

{all laugh}

Draik - You, you, you guys are being attacked.

Kougra - DO I SEE THAT HAPPENING?

Draik - NO! You�re outside, by the tavern.

Kougra - COOL! I get drunk!

Draik - *sigh* There, there are seven Cave Chias surrounding you.

Skeith - How could they surround us? I had the Uber Dark Faerie�s Demon Breath cast.

Draik - No you didn�t.

Kougra - I�M GETTING DRUNK are there any girls there?

Skeith - I TOATALLY did. You asked me if I needed any equipment before this adventure and I said no, but I need Uber Faeries for all my abilities, so I cast the Uber Dark Faerie�s Demon Breath.

Draik - But you never actually CAST it.

Kougra - ROLL THE DICE TO SEE IF I�M GETTING DRUNK!

Draik - *sigh* {dice rolling} YEAH YOU ARE!

Kougra - ARE THERE ANY GIRLS THERE?

Draik - (impatient) YEAH!

Skeith - I did though! I completely did when you asked me�

Draik - (angry) No you didn�t! You didn�t actually say that you were casting the spell so now there�s Cave Chias, okay?!?

Kougra - CAVE CHIAS? MAN, I GOT A CHIA SLAYING KNIFE ITS GOT A PLUS-9 AGAINST CHIAS!!

Draik - You�re not THERE! You�re getting DRUNK!!

Scary Announcer-Man Voice - There you have it. A frightening look into Neopia�s most frightening pastime. Remember, that it�s not your Neopet�s fault that they�re being drawn into a satanic world of nightmare, it�s the Techo Master�s fault for making them feel outcast when they couldn�t defeat a single Chia Clown.
====================

DinoBunnyGal the Zafara: "I LOVE Pokemon! They are so much better than me and...they are just the BEST!" *starts playing a friendly game of marbles with my Ampharos, Fluffy*
Mysticunicorn16