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Just so you know, from now on all the college quotes will be in random categories. I also have one more batch of quotes to post next week, then I will not be able to post them so often. It may be up to two months before I get enough to put on one post.
Also I am experimenting with new colors on this post. I thought that dark blue and orange didn't go well together on the forums. If you want to give your opinion about the colors, please give me a private message on the subject, rather than posting on this board.
And now the quotes:
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Random girl: So where are you from?
Bill: Upstate New York.
Random girl: Wow, that's so cool! I bet it's sooo much fun there.
Bill: Actually, there isn't much to do. Whenever we get bored we just build snowmen and run them over with the Integra.
"Our shower is so small you just have to put soap on the walls and spin."
-Emily, on personal hygiene
"If you guys weren't here, we'd have no reason for a fire department in this town... but I'm ready to come down here and give edumacated idiots lessons on how to cook popcorn with out burning it."
-Firefighter Jay, during the weekly visit to the dorms
"You're the worst cat ever."
-Ronnie, after he dropped his cat and it didn't land on its feet
"Seals don't have fur! They're birds!"
-Erin
"Dying is my life!"
-Nick, on his roles in theater
"Why don't you stand up and say it to my face."
-Bryan, after being insulted by a crippled person
"I don't want a bunch of flowers in my coffin. I'll be sneezing up a storm."
-Amy
"This is Steve and Andy's room. Andy only weighs 125 pounds. Leave a message."
-Steve, on his dorm answering machine
"If you hear something breaking, it's ok, you didn't need it anyway."
-Joe, while fixing Erica's computer
"Wow, you stink. That’s like nine times denied. Throw something at her head....like a potato or something."
-Matt, helping his friend get the attention of a random girl
Dustin: Yay, I can't wait to build my hovercraft.
Joe: I can't wait to build my time machine and slap you before you say that.
"When I have a kid, I'm going to go to the mall, put him into a double stroller, and run around looking frantic."
-Tricia, who apparently already knows what that her unborn child is going to be a boy
"No those pants don't live here anymore."
-Sarah, sleep-talking
"But six-pack, I've only drank an officer."
-Tim, trying to avoid a DUI
"You know, peanut butter is like peanuts in butter form, and peanuts are like peanut butter in peanut form!"
-Sandy, spreading confusion
"I think I should just take a year off between high school and college and take a road trip around the world."
-Nichola, who ended up just going to college instead of driving across the ocean
Andrea: Where's the broom?
Chris:Why, are you going somewhere?
-Chris, on transportation
"It doesn't go there you idiot! WAIT! What's your shoe size?"
-Ashily, sleep-talking
Brittnay: You have an identical twin! Oh my Gosh, if I ever think I see you at the mall I'm not gonna say hi 'cause it might be her!
Allison: Well I don't think that will happen, she's in a wheelchair.
Brittnay: No then I'd probably just be like "Allison what happened to you?!
"I'm a superhero! ....OWW! I just smacked myself in the eye!"
-Brandon, playing with rubber bands
MK: Ow ow owww!!!
Liz: What's wrong?!
MK: I took a bite of pizza and it burned my mouth so I spit it in my hand and then it burned my hand!
"I apologize for the cancellation of class. My doctor has informed me that if I fall, I will most certainly die, which would be most unfortunate."
-Professor Walsh, explaining his absence after a light dusting of snow
"Everyone who I don't want to punch in the face take a step forward...not so fast Clark."
-Donny, letting Clark know how he feels, out of the blue, at a party
Wendy's employee: I wonder why his name is Donkey Kong...
Wendy's employee #2: Uh, duh, 'cause he's a DONKEY.
-Overheard at a Wendy's drive-thru mic
"I got the black of spades! I got the black of spades!"
-Laura, losing in drunken poker
Matt: So are we going to eat at Chili's or Applebee's?
Ryan: I'm thinking of a number between 1-10....
Matt: 7.
Ryan: It was 8.
Matt: Which restaurant does that mean?
Ryan: No idea.
"Crap, if this CD doesn't play I'm gonna throw my car out the window!"
-Chris, stuck in traffic
Bobbo: That 70's Show called they want their shirt back.
Casey: Yeah? Well the police called they said they still haven't found your sideburns but they have a couple of leads.
-True comebacks
"I asked my mom to help me move out. She threw a piece of meat at me and said I couldn't move out. I ate the meat and moved out anyway."
-Chris, on moving out
"I just clapped my hands and said 'Get crackin!' and the owner of the whole place was like 'what do you need?' I wasn't even talking to him, which really made me feel very powerful."
-Jessie, at her new job
"You can lead a horse to water but you can't grow moss on a rock."
-Steve, mangling proverbs
Jen: What are those things that Australian people throw?
Kevin: Koalas??
Jen: You know, they say that the reason so many people are fat from McDonalds is because they had good childhood memories there.
Dave: Yeah, that's why when I have kids every time I drive them by a McDonalds I'm going to hit them repeatedly in the face.
Professor Slobodnick: Do you know thousands of Vietnam soldiers die every day?
Jesse: I didn't know we were still fighting that war
"I hate cleaning that stupid George Foreman grill. I'd rather clean George Foreman himself."
-Nader
"Anything with a Thermos will not stop."
-Ryan, sleep-talking
"Why is the ground moving? Oh, I'm walking..."
-Philip, while party-hopping
"I wonder if a snail has ever woken up in his shell and got stuck, then thought 'uh-oh.'"
-Michelle, deep in thought
"I'd set him on fire, but he'd probably be too lazy to burn."
-Chris, on his co-worker
"Dude I'm going to be 20! That's the oldest I have ever been!!"
-Jackie, freaking out about her latest birthday
"Hey, do you guys smell that? It smells like burnt fire!!"
-Jenna
Nan: You put my shirt in the wash with your underwear!
Kristin: I did? I guess it's because your shirt looks like underwear.
Nan: No it doesn't!
Kristin: Well it did when I wasn't looking at it.
"Take twenty aspirins tonight. You'll feel better if you wake up."
-Rylee, on hangover prevention
Oscar announcer: "Lord of the Rings has won as many Oscars as Titanic did."
Laura: Titanic is still winning awards?
"Right now I disagree with myself."
-Collin, during a drunken argument
Jason: The key to speaking Japanese is that they don't open their mouths very wide.
Danielle: Well, there goes their social life.
"See, what people don't know is that I will hit them."
-Lena, as a car pulls out in front of her
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