Morningstar wrote:
EDIT: And, Trick, I do want to talk about your friend (sometimes I ramble so much I forget the important stuff). Perhaps, she needs a good shake on the shoulders and a "Why are you seeing that guy? He is really mean to you." I know I did. And, it worked. I fell head over heels for this control freak while in high school. The guy wanted to see me every day and, eventually, ever second I had free. I gave up friends, didn't even have time to clean my room. And then the guy wanted me to quit my part-time job. But, I didn't see it. However, one day, one of my male friends did. My male friend and I were doing something school-related on a Saturday morning (something like working a pancake breakfast for a school club) and my "boyfriend" came by and moped and moped about how he wanted to see me and how I was too busy for him, etc., etc. Trying to make me feel guilty for having a life. When, out of the blue, my male friend says to me, in front of my boyfriend (took a lot of guts), "Why do you let him do that to you? You are worth so much more." And, I did a double take. And, the rose-colored glasses came off-- instantly. For the first time, I saw my boyfriend's behavior through another person's eyes. I broke up with the guy that afternoon. And, was so happy when I did. Like a big weight off of my shoulders. I was finally able to be myself. So, be persistent. And, don't give up on her--though it can be hard to do.
Thanks Morningstar =) I won't be giving up on her, I seem to be the only one she knows that actually says "he's no good" rather than just agreeing with how fabulous the latest "he" is or saying it behind her back. Last time round I did manage to talk her out of begging the guy back and because of that she managed to hand in her finals project work in time after being behind with it for so long because of all the aggro. And she's still my friend so I hope that means at least a part of her is agreeing with me and can see she does deserve better, hopefully. I'm also hoping that now she's left uni and is off to find work that will make a difference I hope, my mum couldn't believe the difference in me when I worked the summer between high school and uni - I went from painfully shy to strong confident person (I'd definitely recommend working to anyone with confidence/shyness problems - I know it's very scary but it really can help so much!).
I'm a big believer in money not being important, my mum drummed that into me well! I grew up with no money and my mum was a single parent working all hours and studying for qualifications at the same time. For much of my childhood I had to go without a big pile of presents at christmas and birthdays etc but it didn't matter, because my mum would always take time off for plays and assemblies at my school and spent lots of time with me outside work hours. Now money isn't as much of an issue she can come home earlier for my younger brothers which is fantastic. My bf often worries about money until I talk sense into him, hehe. I still have occasional problems with stress and I'm very lucky to have such people around to talk sense into me in turn.
I'm not exactly an old-timer at the grand old age of 22, but I know that things like money, exams, jobs are not important at all. Failing an exam is not the end of the world - your whole life is still ahead of you =) A lot of my problems left me when I left home, not because my home life was terrible (I was lucky) but spreading your wings and gaining some space and independence whilst remaining close to your family can be a very healthy thing. Crying is good for you, laughing is even better for you. Smiling can stop problems before they happen. And a good hug can sometimes make people better