I found this on a site, and thought it was hilarious ^_^
Quote:
Dormitory == Dirty Room 
Desperation == A Rope Ends It 
The Morse Code == Here Come Dots 
Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em 
Animosity == Is No Amity 
Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's 
Alec Guinness == Genuine Class 
Semolina == Is No Meal 
The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet 
A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place 
The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake 
Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one 
Contradiction == Accord not in it 
This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] 
To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. 
Becomes: 
In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten. 
And the grand finale: 
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong 
becomes: 
A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!