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Battle for the Dung Part 10

For the whole of the afternoon, Crim flew happily across the ocean, giggling all over again when he thought of Doirn whom he left behind. The prince would surely drown or starve in the middle of this vast sea, and trouble him no more. It was just as well, because Doirn had already served his purpose in discovering the path to the Dung, the stench of with blew against his face in the wind. Such a vile smell would have turned away any other, but to Crim who knew the power such a smell held, it meant years of endless conflict and war, which Crim thrived on.

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Soon Crim was upon the beach of an unknown land, the smell of Dung almost overpowering him. As he walked across the rocky terrain, he could make out the form of a volcano, or at least what a scholar had once described to him as. Crim was truly in a newly discovered land, and it filled him with wonder. But unlike an archeologist, it was no more than another land for Darigan Citadel to conquer. Crim eventually came upon a village filled with busy Neopets, if that's what they could be called. He had never seen such creatures, who worked about with straw and stone in a primitive fashion. They were nothing more than a conquest, however, just like the surrounding land. And a means to finding the Dung. Walking fearlessly into the village, he was soon approached by what appeared to be a speckled Nimmo. "Greetings," said Crim. "I am Crim, and if you value you your life and those of your fellow villagers, you will do as I say and take me to the Dung. Are we clear?"

"Ugga ugga," coughed out the Nimmo as it scratched its head.

"Excuse you," said Crim, and cleared his own throat as well. "Now, where is the Dung? I will make good on my threats if you aren't careful."

"Ugga ug ugga ugga ug ug," coughed out the Nimmo, now making gestures with its hands. Crim continued to ask the Nimmo his questions, who continued to grunt back, until it finally dawned on Crim. Just as this village was underdeveloped, so was the language of its inhabitants.

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"What kind of undeveloped Neopet talks in grunts?" cried out Crim in desperation. When the Nimmo began to grunt back, trying to answer the question in its own way, Crim picked it up and threw it at a nearby straw house. If they can't understand me through words, thought Crim, then they will understand me through violence.

However, Crim began to realize it was soon a mistake. Countless Neopets crying out the word "Ugga" began to surround him, much larger and fiercer than the Neopet he had just thrown away. Unlike the warriors of Meridell, these haggard Neopets looked like they fought danger on a daily basis, and that was shown as Crim began to fight for his life against the relentless hoard. Over and over again, Crim threw them off, but they got right back up, as if receiving his blows were nothing more than part of their daily routine. If I don't get out of here, panicked Crim as he tried to free himself from a Chia's headlock, I may not live to see tomorrow.

Just then, a new cry was heard over the deafening "ugga ugga".

"Charge me mateys! Treasure and glory awaits ye! ARRRR!"

Turning towards the cry, Crim's hope of surviving dropped completely as he saw an army of pirates approaching, weapons drawn. "What are pirates doing here?" cried out Crim in confusion, and then was suddenly swatted to the ground by a giant of a Kacheek. As the pirates closed in on the ensuing battle, Crim began to realize he would not survive this day.
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Past Funfillers

Battle for the Dung: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9
Important Science Fact: #1
Other: Dance Party! | Revenge of the Impatient Ones