Difference between revisions of "Captain Dread"

From NeoDex
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Line 3: Line 3:
'''Captain Dread''' is a skeletal [[Kiko]] pirate who originally destroyed [[Maraqua]] with a curse in ''[[The Destruction of Maraqua]]'', when [[King Koi]] refused to pay the pirates' protection money. Dread sailed the submarine ''[[The Revenge]]''.
'''Captain Dread''' is a skeletal [[Kiko]] pirate who originally destroyed [[Maraqua]] with a curse in ''[[The Destruction of Maraqua]]'', when [[King Koi]] refused to pay the pirates' protection money. Dread sailed the submarine ''[[The Revenge]]''.


His vendetta was carried on by [[Captain Scarblade]]. What happened to Dread afterwards is unknown. How he placed the curse is unknown as well.
His vendetta was carried on by [[Captain Scarblade]]. What happened to Dread afterwards is unknown. How he placed the curse is unknown as well. A few Neopian Times articles and stories are based on him. A few of these articles and stories are listed on this page where you may read them.
 
Hold Your Breath, Because We Are About To Swan Dive Into the Maraqua Mystery (by stoneman3x)
 
RUINS OF MARAQUA - Ah, conspiracy! How I like the sound of that word! I also like the sound of "dark intrigue", "sinister plot", "strange occurrances", "mysterious circumstances", "unexplained phenomenon", and "pepperoni pizza". All of these phrases fuel my hunger for knowledge and truth, except for maybe the last one which just fuels my hunger period.
There are several mysterious things happening lately in Maraqua. I know that this is true because one is actually called the "Mysterious Statue", so that is kind of a dead giveaway. I was really curious about this microscopic blob in the bottom of the ocean. It seemed like such a small thing to cause such a riot of speculation throughout all of Neopia. So I did a little digging into the ruins, so to speak. I excavated some facts that led me to someone that you wouldn't think would have anything to do with the destruction of an entire world. A pirate.
 
The evil villain in the downfall of Maraqua was a pirate named Captain Dread. You know immediately that he is a bad guy because: (A) he wears a black hat, (B) he looks like a skull with arms, (C) he says stuff like "I'm gonna keel haul ya" in a normal sentence, and (D) he's a Kiko. A really, really ugly Kiko. To tell the truth, it actually took me about five minutes of staring at his picture without blinking to figure out that he WAS a Kiko. The fact that he didn't have a bandaid on his head totally threw me off. Anyway, here is a piece of the article in the Neopedia about him:
 
 
 
Captain Dread & The Revenge
Ya sees, this here story be about that capt'n what were that most infamous of all pirates what sailed the Neopian seas, that bein' ol' Captain Dread."
The other one, he spoke up then. "He didn't so much sail th' seas," he says ta me, "as sailed under the seas in a submarine he called The Revenge. Just what he was seekin' revenge for, nobody knows. Well, maybe he knows, but nobody else does."
 
I don't know about you, but that bit about sailing around in a submarine really grabbed my attention. So I snatched up my handy dandy Ultra Dual Shovel and did some more digging. I found a nifty little video with the fascinating title of A Curse On Maraqua. In case you can't view the thing because your flash player doesn't work, I'll tell you what happens in it.
 
The movie starts out kind of slow, with a lot of bubbles. I have a computer that I affectionately call "The Beast" because it is older than Chiazilla and twice as grumpy. A submarine that looks like a cross between a metal shark and something out of the book, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea", floats by. For about five full minutes. So I just played a Maraqua version of "Extreme Potato Counter" while I was waiting for the thing to speed up and counted the bubbles. I quit after 169. Whee. What fun.
 
The next thing that pops up is the inside of the sub. A skull wearing a pirate hat, with what I guess is a picture of himself on the front, shouts something nasty to a Blumaroo. Since the Blumaroo says, "Aye, Cap'n", I figure the skull must be the captain and the Blumaroo must be part of his crew. In fact, the Blumaroo is half of his entire crew. In the whole video I only saw the Blumaroo and a Mynci with this skull guy. Frankly, I wasn't exactly impressed by the vast numbers of these bloodthirsty cut-throats. Anyway, because I can't imagine that there would be two pirate-hat-wearing-skull-body-Kikos hovering around Neopia, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this guy is probably Captain Dread.
 
So the grouchy captain with bad teeth steers his submarine towards Maraqua. I know it is Maraqua because it look exactly like Maraqua except that everything is in one piece and not scattered around like a Chia Plushie after a Lupe plays with it. You can now see that the submarine has a large ceiling fan stick to the back of it. But that's not the part I find really interesting. What amazes me is that the submarine looks likes it made out of wood. How the heck does a wooden submarine stay submerged? Wouldn't it bob around like a cork on the surface of the ocean?
 
The scene changes to what appears to be a throne room. A guy that looks like a cross between a catfish and a Mortog with green hair stands around with a crown on his head. My first impression was that this might be the king of Maraqua. I had to really work hard and do a lot of research to find out his name. His name is a little tricky to pronounce, so I'll say it slowly. It's "The King of Maraqua". From now on I think I'll do us all a favor and just call him "KOM".
 
I'm not sure how those underwater pirates got there so fast, but now they are standing in the throne room talking to KOM. Well, Captain Dread doesn't exactly stand, he kind of hovers around in mid-air, but I think you get the idea. Anyway, I read somewhere that you can tell if someone is LYING by the fact that they BLINK a lot. Trust me, KOM blinks practically non-stop. Here is how the conversation goes:
 
Kom: I wasn't expecting you until next week. *blink blink*
 
Dread: Do ya have our payment now? *waves sword for effect*
 
Kom: Bad kelp harvest... *blink blink* ...Maraqua isn't as popular with the tourists these days... *blink blink* ...coral tax... *blink blink* ...stock depression... *blink blink blink blink blink blink*
 
Dread isn't as stupid as he looks because he seems to get the drift of where this is going pretty quickly and says, "Ya don't have the gold, do ya?"
 
Trapped by this superior intellect, KOM then says boldly, something to this effect: "You big meanie! We don't wanna pay anymore anyway!" *blink blink*
 
Dread doesn't take this response too well and pretty much tells KOM to relocate to another place. The name of that place is a word I can't repeat. But I'll give you a clue. It starts with "h" and it's not "heck". Dread gets so mad that a spider crawls out of his eye socket to escape the heat. The pirates then hit the road, or waterway, or whatever.
 
That's the end of the video, and it says "To be continued". I've looked all over the place and I can't find anymore parts to this, so I guess the Neopets team has been really really really slow about adding to this story. It's either that or my computer is more of a sluggish beast than I thought and it's still loading it after a week. In any event, this little movie raises some very important questions. Here are some of the questions I think we all should be asking right now:
 
If the pirates put a curse on Maraqua and destroyed it, does that mean they are not only pirates, but sorcerers too?
If the pirates created the whirlpool that destroyed Maraqua, what did they use? The ceiling fan on their submarine?
Why does Captain Dread call the Blumaroo a scurvy dog? Wouldn't a scurvy Gelert be more accurate? Or maybe a scurvy Warf or a scurvy Puppy Blew?
Why does a skull need an eye patch?
Did the Blumaroo pierce his own ear?
Did it hurt?
If the Underwater Chef relocated to Mystery Island after Maraqua was destroyed, how does he breathe out of water? In fact, how do Kois, Flotsams, Jetsams and all those Utility Fish Petpets get around on land?
What does this question have to do with the video?
 
All you can see, this video raises a lot of important questions that need to be answered. And the person who has answers for all these questions will solve the mystery of the destruction of Maraqua. And I just happen to have answers for all of those questions. *Blink blink*
 
So why did Captain Dread pick on Maraqua in the first place? If he was really strong enough to wipe out an entire world, why didn't he threaten the Faerie Queen and demand all the overpriced stuff in the Hidden Tower instead?
 
The first question is answered by another pirate captain-- Cap'n Threelegs. Over on Krawk Island, at the Swashbuckling Academy, Cap'n Threelegs has a link to his "sayings". One of those sayings is:
"Some say there be gold buried in the ruins of Maraqua..."
 
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the gold wasn't buried in Maraqua AFTER it became ruins. Captain Dread knew that there was gold in Maraqua and intimidated KOM into paying him "protection" money. But my guess is that Dread was making a really convincing but empty threat. If he was powerful enough to destroy Maraqua in the first place, then getting a couple of pieces of gold every few weeks seems like a pretty slow way of getting rich. Apparently Dread's threats worked for awhile, but then KOM decided to call the pirate's bluff. Unfortunately, KOM had no way of knowing that Captain Dread had an ace up his sleeve.
 
Now that I have figured this whole thing out, I'm going to explain what happened to Maraqua. I'm going to unveil the sinister plot that includes not just pirates, but a bunch of others you might not even suspect of being part of a conspiracy to destroy an entire underwater world. But I'm not going to do that this week...
 
TO BE CONTINUED...
 
Don't you just HATE it when people do that to you?
 
Captain Dread's Revenge (by chipster33)
 
"I'm not paying you anymore!" the King of Maraqua spat as he slammed his fist on his throne. The whole room seemed to shake, of course the water's might have just been rough outside.
    "What?" a bony Kiko snarled with a fake smile. He ground his teeth and stared fervently at the King with his one eye socket.
 
    "I-I told you Captain Dread! The people of Maraqua don't want to pay you anymore! So-so just leave us alone!" the King screamed. He stuttered out of anger, he knew he should have done this a long time ago.
 
    Captain Dread gave the King a piercing look, he knew that his decision was final. "You'll regret this Kingy, all of Maraqua will regret this..." he hissed as he started to go back to his submarine.
 
    But the King showed no sign of fear. What could this 'ole seadog do to him anyway? Crash his submarine into his city? No, the threat was an empty one, it had to be -- for Maraqua's sake.
 
Meanwhile...
 
Captain Dread walked into his submarine. His face was angry, but he also looked slightly disappointed.
 
    "So Cap'n, did ye get our booty?" a Blumaroo with an eye patch cried.
 
    Dread gave him a cold look, and sent him scurrying back to scrubbing the poop deck. He then walked headed for his cabin, scaring the living daylights out of anyone who came in his path.
 
    "Argh! You worthless crew! Can't ye do anythin' right? I just come from work, and there's no grub on my table!" Dread hissed as he walked into his cabin.
 
    "That's because there's no money in the cook's budget!" snapped a female Aisha with a feather duster. She wore lots of make-up and a poofy red dress.
 
    "What's that Maria?" Dread asked as he sat in his captain's chair.
 
    "The cook does not have enough money to feed you! You have to have gourmet foods! The cook can't afford the ingredients! He can barely afford to feed the crew! Why, they're feasting on Semolina in the Mess Hall! O' course the Cap'n is above that! Eat like his crew, it's like asking someone to eat the same food as a Puppyblew!" Maria muttered testily as she dusted an old vase.
 
    Captain Dread remained silent for a long period, and then he got up.
 
    "Where ye going Cap'n?" Maria asked slyly, though she knew the answer.
 
    "Down to the Mess Hall o' course! I need to get some grub! Besides, I have an announcement for the crew. I just thought of it," Dread said in a dignified manor.
 
    "What it be Cap'n?" Maria asked while setting her gaze on the Kiko.
 
    "Never ye mind," he snapped as he slammed the door behind him.
 
    Captain Dread wandered around the ship, searching desperately for the Mess Hall. It was true that he had never gone in there, but he figured that he could find it by himself. Finally he stumbled upon the room, but it was not to his liking. The floor was messy, and all of the pets were being very loud and obnoxious. No one even seemed to notice that he had entered.
 
    He sidled over to where the Semolina was literally being dumped on plates. The stuff smelled foul, but there was nothing Dread could do about it. He made a mental note to give the cook more money. Then he was grabbed a pint of what seemed to be dirty water. He gave it a disgusted look.
 
    "Not good enough for ye Cap'n?" asked the large Bruce who had given it to him. "It's what ye crew drinks ev'ry night!"
 
    Captain Dread made no reply, but headed for a small table in the very front of the room. It was old, dusty, and unused, but Dread knew why. Reserved for the Captain a small sign read at the front of the table. He remembered putting it there ages ago when he thought he would actually eat with his crew.
 
    Dread sat down and the whole room quieted and looked at him, Captain Dread never ate with his crew, he was famous for it.
 
    "I have an announcement to make!" Dread hollered to his crew. "We will be changing our course by 26 degrees!"
 
    The whole crew gasped.
 
    "But Cap'n!" the Blumaroo from before shrieked. "Those are dangerous waters they are! That Dark Faerie lives there!"
 
    "I know that!" Dread snapped as he glared angrily at his crew. Honestly, he had been sailing the seas for longer than any other pirate had! Did they think that something crawled in his skull unnoticed and devoured his brain? (though it was possible)
 
    "Then, why are we going there?" a Kyrii asked sceptically.
 
    "Because as it happens," Dread muttered casually. "The Dark Faerie is the only one who will probably help us in such a short amount of time."
 
    "What do you mean by 'help us'? Are we in some kind of danger Cap'n?" a Krawk cried nervously. He then looked around him in a paranoid fashion.
 
    Captain Dread sighed, he deeply hoped that he would not have to tell his failure to collect the money, but then knew he must. "Those scurvy Maraquan dogs didn't pay us- and I want them to realize that no one goes back on a deal with us pirates!" Dread hollered.
 
    His cry was met with happy shouts of approval and delicate phrases such as "SMASH 'EM!" "DESTROY 'EM ALL!" and even the dainty little "TAKE 'EM ALL AS PRISONERS AND RIP 'EM TO SHREDS!"
 
    "But Cap'n," a smart Techo shouted over the crowds of cheering pirates. "How will you convince the Faerie to help us?"
 
    Dread quieted down the crowds, then smiled at the question. "Darkness Faeries are almost as greedy as pirates. I'll tell her that I'll give her a piece of me treasure if she helps, and then she'll DESTROY THE MARAQUANS!!!"
 
    The crowd's roar started up again.
 
    "But Cap'n!" the same Techo cried. "What if she doesn't like the gift? Who's to say she won't destroy us and take our gold as well?"
 
    "Ye just leave that part to me an' don't worry ye little head..." Captain Dread said with a sinister smile. "Just leave that part to me..."
 
    As the pirates turned the submarine the waters grew rockier. The Dark Faerie was the cause, she lived on a green storm cloud above the ocean, constantly making the waves rough for any unfamiliar travelers who sailed on her turf. But the pirates did not mind, if all went according to plan this would be worth it.
 
    Finally, they rose to the surface, the Faerie's green cloud hovering above the rough waters. Captain Dread got out of the submarine and got on the cloud.
 
    "Miss Darkness Faerie!" Dread cried as he saw her on the edge of the cloud. She was waving her hand slightly, making the waves abnormally rough.
 
    "Yes?" she asked, not even glancing at the newcomer.
 
    "I am Cap'n Dread, and I came here to assist ye help," Dread declared with a piercing glance.
 
    "Why do you want 'ye help', 'Cap'n' Dread?" the Dark Faerie asked mockingly. She turned slightly and got a look at the Kiko. She giggled a bit, for she did not know Neopets could look that silly.
 
    "I want revenge on someone."
 
    "And who would that someone be Cap'n?" the Darkness Faerie chuckled. These Neopets and trying to be discrete!
 
    "Maraqua," Dread snapped.
 
    "The whole of it?"
 
    "Yes."
 
    "Well, well, don't we have a lot of issues..." the Dankness Faerie muttered.
 
    "So will you do it?" Dread asked impatiently.
 
    "Yes -- for a price."
 
    "Will this do?" Captain Dread inquired as he pulled out a red and gold amulet from behind his back.
 
    The Faerie looked at it, trying to suppress her interest, but could not hide the excitement in her eyes. It was big, clunky, valuable, and she loved it.
 
    "Yes, that's very nice," the Faerie muttered happily. Of course, it would not have mattered what they gave her, she would just be destroying the ship and stealing their gold in the end anyway.
 
    The Faerie then started flapping her bat-like wings; she wanted to get this done as quickly as possible.
 
    "Make it look natural!" Dread called after her. She nodded, then continued to go off into the dark night sky.
 
    An hour later, she returned to the cloud. Her hair was slightly messed up, but other than that, she looked fine.
 
    "What did you do?" Captain Dread asked as soon as she landed. He had been on pins and needles since he left.
 
    "Just a giant whirlpool. No one will suspect a thing," the Darkness Faerie muttered simply. "So, where's my amulet?"
 
    "Right here," Dread said as he handed her the amulet, trying to suppress a smile.
 
    The Faerie looked at it with the utmost pleasure. She then placed it around her neck. How beautiful it was! It shimmered even though there was very little light around.
 
    "Now," the Faerie hissed as she popped her knuckles. Her eyes turned into slits and she glared at the Captain and his submarine evilly. "It's time to get your hoard. I'm sorry Captain, but this opportunity is to good for me to miss..."
 
    "Oh, you should not be sorry," Dread replied, equally as evil. "It is I who should be sorry."
 
    "Why's that?" the Faerie inquired nervously.
 
    "Look at your feet."
 
    The Faerie did as she was told and then gasped. The purple shoes that she had once worn were now gray stone, but that was not all. Her whole body was slowly turning into stone.
 
    "Y-you!" she stuttered. "It's this amulet!" The Faerie desperately tried to take it off, but to no avail.
 
    "Try as much as you like. You won't be able to get that off. The Faerie Queen tried to make one for the Battledome, but the formula she used for it was too strong. It froze the opponent until another took it off, which the Faerie Queen doubted would happen in the Battledome. So she banished it. Fortunately, I came across it. And let me guarantee you, I will never take it off for you," Captain Dread cackled.
 
    The Darkness Faerie gazed at him angrily. She leaped forward to attack him, but as soon as she did the process completed. The Darkness Faerie was now a statue.
 
    These are the facts: Captain Dread and his crew where seen carrying a large gray package towards the Maraqua Whirlpool. The Darkness Faerie that lived on that cloud has yet to be seen. A large statue that matched the Darkness Faerie's description has been found at the bottom of the Maraquan Whirlpool. Coincidence? That decision is up to you.
 
The End
 
Some Pretty Weird & Bad Neopians (by epk)
 
(NOTE: This article just lists Captain Dread)
 
Okay, so I've been around Neopia for a little while and have done it all. But no matter where I turn there is always some pretty weird or bad Neopians staring at me. So I've made a list of the top ten pretty weird and bad Neopians on NeoPets. Watch out for these characters...
 
Number 10: humboldt***
(Last 3 characters censored for user's privacy) Okay, no offence humboldt***, but your were the only one who answered to my last article's Poll Question with the answer "Yes". And that meant I needed mental help. And I don't! I DON'T! AHHH! TAKE THAT! Man, I do need to see my psychiatrist.
 
Number 9: dark_epk
Okay, this guy gives the creeps. He's not a one of those illegal people, but how he operates his account is amazing. He is in the same classification as the Dark Faeries, and all money will go either to making more NP or investing the stock VPTS... hmm... that sounds familiar. Oh, and NP will also be given to give his NeoPets a Shadow Colouring.
 
Number 8: The Uber-Dark Faerie
If you've ever gotten a Faerie Quest from the Dark Faerie, (Not Jhudora,) you may of noticed she asks for TOYS. Yes, toys. What can a women of mass destruction do with a toy. Well... my Koi is afraid of Rubber Duckies... don't mention that I said that to him.
 
Number 7: Jhudora, other Dark Faerie
Okay, now you can tell she's just messed up. Who in the world mumbles under her breath that Fyora the Faerie Queen may get mad at her for doing what she's doing? At the very least, she asks for items that could be used for evil. And she gives you a moderate prize.
 
Number 6: Chia Clown
What in the world is this? Sure all Chia's are pretty weird, but this guy is even worse. First off all, my NeoPets can beat him in two... possibly one hit. Second of all, this is all he seems to say: Roll up roll up, its time for some fun! HONK HONK! OR I have a present for you... HONK!! And worst of all: Would you like a balloon animal??? By know I used my best weapons on him. And one last quote: Aww the little NeoPet is scared of the big bad clown! Whatever dead man.
 
Number 5: Someone Who Hates Fuzzles
There was this one person I met. Man, he had two rooms in his NeoHome filled with beaten up, torn, and ripped Fuzzles. When I went and asked him why this was, he said it was only personal. What could a toy do to him? Had he had to much caffeine one day? Did a mutant Fuzzle attack him? Is he paranoid? Or does HE need Mental Help? Well, whoever he is, he got a spot on the Top 10. And boy, he's gonna love NeoPet's upcoming Fuzzle Shooting Game. And speaking of upcoming, what is Fangspire? (Go to the world page to know more!)
 
Number 4: Pant Devil
The man in blue is totally weird. Who in the world carries a flag and steals items randomly from innocent Neopians? And he also bribed the faeries to give him a spot of the Wheel of Excitement? And most of all, what does he do with all the items? Does he also have a plan for mass destruction, or is he just a pig? Does he use the items for his spot in the Battledome, or does he just use them for leisure? I've been looking 24/7 for wherever his lair is... I want my Wand of Supernova back! GIVE IT BACK! (Don't tell him that he never did stole one, I just want to torture him into giving me the item.)
 
Number 3: Malkus Vile
It you don't know about Malkus Vile, I'll tell you. He's a big ol' Skeith who is best known for trying to destroy the place known best as Coltzan's Shrine. Stupid... just plain stupid... but anyway, you can clearly tell he's evil. And it's not the first time he did something evil. And he gets all his battle plans from a more mysterious master.
 
Number 2: Doctor Sloth
Your probably surprised the doctor only got second. After all, he was the one who created Mutant NeoPets. I've been around for all of his evil plots. His first plot was to shoot a ray onto Neopia that creates Mutants. His second was to destroy Maraqua, which luckily was unsuccessful for the time being. The third was destroy Sakhmet. I don't recall many others, but he surely probably has a bit to do with everything.
 
Number 1: Captain Dread
Arrgh me maties! Captain Dread was the pirate Kiko who turned Maraqua into a whirlpool for not paying the ransom. I wouldn't be surprised if he turns his attention to places like Tombola. I mean, that guy goes into debt too often... but speaking of the Kiko again, he was the only evil person on this entire list who is actually successful with a plot of mass destruction.
 
Disclaimer: If anyone is offended by this material, like if they made it onto the list, it's not something against you, you made it by being Weird (at least to me... who says I need mental help?) and not being Bad, like Captain Dread. Oh... and let's say dark_epk agreed to be on this list and gave me some stock information. Thanks darkie!
 
 
 
 
 


==Trivia==
==Trivia==

Revision as of 18:03, 25 November 2007

Captain Dread with his Blumaroo helmsman.

Captain Dread is a skeletal Kiko pirate who originally destroyed Maraqua with a curse in The Destruction of Maraqua, when King Koi refused to pay the pirates' protection money. Dread sailed the submarine The Revenge.

His vendetta was carried on by Captain Scarblade. What happened to Dread afterwards is unknown. How he placed the curse is unknown as well. A few Neopian Times articles and stories are based on him. A few of these articles and stories are listed on this page where you may read them.

Hold Your Breath, Because We Are About To Swan Dive Into the Maraqua Mystery (by stoneman3x)

RUINS OF MARAQUA - Ah, conspiracy! How I like the sound of that word! I also like the sound of "dark intrigue", "sinister plot", "strange occurrances", "mysterious circumstances", "unexplained phenomenon", and "pepperoni pizza". All of these phrases fuel my hunger for knowledge and truth, except for maybe the last one which just fuels my hunger period. There are several mysterious things happening lately in Maraqua. I know that this is true because one is actually called the "Mysterious Statue", so that is kind of a dead giveaway. I was really curious about this microscopic blob in the bottom of the ocean. It seemed like such a small thing to cause such a riot of speculation throughout all of Neopia. So I did a little digging into the ruins, so to speak. I excavated some facts that led me to someone that you wouldn't think would have anything to do with the destruction of an entire world. A pirate.

The evil villain in the downfall of Maraqua was a pirate named Captain Dread. You know immediately that he is a bad guy because: (A) he wears a black hat, (B) he looks like a skull with arms, (C) he says stuff like "I'm gonna keel haul ya" in a normal sentence, and (D) he's a Kiko. A really, really ugly Kiko. To tell the truth, it actually took me about five minutes of staring at his picture without blinking to figure out that he WAS a Kiko. The fact that he didn't have a bandaid on his head totally threw me off. Anyway, here is a piece of the article in the Neopedia about him:


Captain Dread & The Revenge Ya sees, this here story be about that capt'n what were that most infamous of all pirates what sailed the Neopian seas, that bein' ol' Captain Dread." The other one, he spoke up then. "He didn't so much sail th' seas," he says ta me, "as sailed under the seas in a submarine he called The Revenge. Just what he was seekin' revenge for, nobody knows. Well, maybe he knows, but nobody else does."

I don't know about you, but that bit about sailing around in a submarine really grabbed my attention. So I snatched up my handy dandy Ultra Dual Shovel and did some more digging. I found a nifty little video with the fascinating title of A Curse On Maraqua. In case you can't view the thing because your flash player doesn't work, I'll tell you what happens in it.

The movie starts out kind of slow, with a lot of bubbles. I have a computer that I affectionately call "The Beast" because it is older than Chiazilla and twice as grumpy. A submarine that looks like a cross between a metal shark and something out of the book, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea", floats by. For about five full minutes. So I just played a Maraqua version of "Extreme Potato Counter" while I was waiting for the thing to speed up and counted the bubbles. I quit after 169. Whee. What fun.

The next thing that pops up is the inside of the sub. A skull wearing a pirate hat, with what I guess is a picture of himself on the front, shouts something nasty to a Blumaroo. Since the Blumaroo says, "Aye, Cap'n", I figure the skull must be the captain and the Blumaroo must be part of his crew. In fact, the Blumaroo is half of his entire crew. In the whole video I only saw the Blumaroo and a Mynci with this skull guy. Frankly, I wasn't exactly impressed by the vast numbers of these bloodthirsty cut-throats. Anyway, because I can't imagine that there would be two pirate-hat-wearing-skull-body-Kikos hovering around Neopia, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this guy is probably Captain Dread.

So the grouchy captain with bad teeth steers his submarine towards Maraqua. I know it is Maraqua because it look exactly like Maraqua except that everything is in one piece and not scattered around like a Chia Plushie after a Lupe plays with it. You can now see that the submarine has a large ceiling fan stick to the back of it. But that's not the part I find really interesting. What amazes me is that the submarine looks likes it made out of wood. How the heck does a wooden submarine stay submerged? Wouldn't it bob around like a cork on the surface of the ocean?

The scene changes to what appears to be a throne room. A guy that looks like a cross between a catfish and a Mortog with green hair stands around with a crown on his head. My first impression was that this might be the king of Maraqua. I had to really work hard and do a lot of research to find out his name. His name is a little tricky to pronounce, so I'll say it slowly. It's "The King of Maraqua". From now on I think I'll do us all a favor and just call him "KOM".

I'm not sure how those underwater pirates got there so fast, but now they are standing in the throne room talking to KOM. Well, Captain Dread doesn't exactly stand, he kind of hovers around in mid-air, but I think you get the idea. Anyway, I read somewhere that you can tell if someone is LYING by the fact that they BLINK a lot. Trust me, KOM blinks practically non-stop. Here is how the conversation goes:

Kom: I wasn't expecting you until next week. *blink blink*

Dread: Do ya have our payment now? *waves sword for effect*

Kom: Bad kelp harvest... *blink blink* ...Maraqua isn't as popular with the tourists these days... *blink blink* ...coral tax... *blink blink* ...stock depression... *blink blink blink blink blink blink*

Dread isn't as stupid as he looks because he seems to get the drift of where this is going pretty quickly and says, "Ya don't have the gold, do ya?"

Trapped by this superior intellect, KOM then says boldly, something to this effect: "You big meanie! We don't wanna pay anymore anyway!" *blink blink*

Dread doesn't take this response too well and pretty much tells KOM to relocate to another place. The name of that place is a word I can't repeat. But I'll give you a clue. It starts with "h" and it's not "heck". Dread gets so mad that a spider crawls out of his eye socket to escape the heat. The pirates then hit the road, or waterway, or whatever.

That's the end of the video, and it says "To be continued". I've looked all over the place and I can't find anymore parts to this, so I guess the Neopets team has been really really really slow about adding to this story. It's either that or my computer is more of a sluggish beast than I thought and it's still loading it after a week. In any event, this little movie raises some very important questions. Here are some of the questions I think we all should be asking right now:

If the pirates put a curse on Maraqua and destroyed it, does that mean they are not only pirates, but sorcerers too? If the pirates created the whirlpool that destroyed Maraqua, what did they use? The ceiling fan on their submarine? Why does Captain Dread call the Blumaroo a scurvy dog? Wouldn't a scurvy Gelert be more accurate? Or maybe a scurvy Warf or a scurvy Puppy Blew? Why does a skull need an eye patch? Did the Blumaroo pierce his own ear? Did it hurt? If the Underwater Chef relocated to Mystery Island after Maraqua was destroyed, how does he breathe out of water? In fact, how do Kois, Flotsams, Jetsams and all those Utility Fish Petpets get around on land? What does this question have to do with the video?

All you can see, this video raises a lot of important questions that need to be answered. And the person who has answers for all these questions will solve the mystery of the destruction of Maraqua. And I just happen to have answers for all of those questions. *Blink blink*

So why did Captain Dread pick on Maraqua in the first place? If he was really strong enough to wipe out an entire world, why didn't he threaten the Faerie Queen and demand all the overpriced stuff in the Hidden Tower instead?

The first question is answered by another pirate captain-- Cap'n Threelegs. Over on Krawk Island, at the Swashbuckling Academy, Cap'n Threelegs has a link to his "sayings". One of those sayings is: "Some say there be gold buried in the ruins of Maraqua..."

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the gold wasn't buried in Maraqua AFTER it became ruins. Captain Dread knew that there was gold in Maraqua and intimidated KOM into paying him "protection" money. But my guess is that Dread was making a really convincing but empty threat. If he was powerful enough to destroy Maraqua in the first place, then getting a couple of pieces of gold every few weeks seems like a pretty slow way of getting rich. Apparently Dread's threats worked for awhile, but then KOM decided to call the pirate's bluff. Unfortunately, KOM had no way of knowing that Captain Dread had an ace up his sleeve.

Now that I have figured this whole thing out, I'm going to explain what happened to Maraqua. I'm going to unveil the sinister plot that includes not just pirates, but a bunch of others you might not even suspect of being part of a conspiracy to destroy an entire underwater world. But I'm not going to do that this week...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Don't you just HATE it when people do that to you?

Captain Dread's Revenge (by chipster33)

"I'm not paying you anymore!" the King of Maraqua spat as he slammed his fist on his throne. The whole room seemed to shake, of course the water's might have just been rough outside.

    "What?" a bony Kiko snarled with a fake smile. He ground his teeth and stared fervently at the King with his one eye socket. 
    "I-I told you Captain Dread! The people of Maraqua don't want to pay you anymore! So-so just leave us alone!" the King screamed. He stuttered out of anger, he knew he should have done this a long time ago. 
    Captain Dread gave the King a piercing look, he knew that his decision was final. "You'll regret this Kingy, all of Maraqua will regret this..." he hissed as he started to go back to his submarine. 
    But the King showed no sign of fear. What could this 'ole seadog do to him anyway? Crash his submarine into his city? No, the threat was an empty one, it had to be -- for Maraqua's sake. 

Meanwhile...

Captain Dread walked into his submarine. His face was angry, but he also looked slightly disappointed.

    "So Cap'n, did ye get our booty?" a Blumaroo with an eye patch cried. 
    Dread gave him a cold look, and sent him scurrying back to scrubbing the poop deck. He then walked headed for his cabin, scaring the living daylights out of anyone who came in his path. 
    "Argh! You worthless crew! Can't ye do anythin' right? I just come from work, and there's no grub on my table!" Dread hissed as he walked into his cabin. 
    "That's because there's no money in the cook's budget!" snapped a female Aisha with a feather duster. She wore lots of make-up and a poofy red dress. 
    "What's that Maria?" Dread asked as he sat in his captain's chair. 
    "The cook does not have enough money to feed you! You have to have gourmet foods! The cook can't afford the ingredients! He can barely afford to feed the crew! Why, they're feasting on Semolina in the Mess Hall! O' course the Cap'n is above that! Eat like his crew, it's like asking someone to eat the same food as a Puppyblew!" Maria muttered testily as she dusted an old vase. 
    Captain Dread remained silent for a long period, and then he got up. 
    "Where ye going Cap'n?" Maria asked slyly, though she knew the answer. 
    "Down to the Mess Hall o' course! I need to get some grub! Besides, I have an announcement for the crew. I just thought of it," Dread said in a dignified manor. 
    "What it be Cap'n?" Maria asked while setting her gaze on the Kiko. 
    "Never ye mind," he snapped as he slammed the door behind him. 
    Captain Dread wandered around the ship, searching desperately for the Mess Hall. It was true that he had never gone in there, but he figured that he could find it by himself. Finally he stumbled upon the room, but it was not to his liking. The floor was messy, and all of the pets were being very loud and obnoxious. No one even seemed to notice that he had entered. 
    He sidled over to where the Semolina was literally being dumped on plates. The stuff smelled foul, but there was nothing Dread could do about it. He made a mental note to give the cook more money. Then he was grabbed a pint of what seemed to be dirty water. He gave it a disgusted look. 
    "Not good enough for ye Cap'n?" asked the large Bruce who had given it to him. "It's what ye crew drinks ev'ry night!" 
    Captain Dread made no reply, but headed for a small table in the very front of the room. It was old, dusty, and unused, but Dread knew why. Reserved for the Captain a small sign read at the front of the table. He remembered putting it there ages ago when he thought he would actually eat with his crew. 
    Dread sat down and the whole room quieted and looked at him, Captain Dread never ate with his crew, he was famous for it. 
    "I have an announcement to make!" Dread hollered to his crew. "We will be changing our course by 26 degrees!" 
    The whole crew gasped. 
    "But Cap'n!" the Blumaroo from before shrieked. "Those are dangerous waters they are! That Dark Faerie lives there!" 
    "I know that!" Dread snapped as he glared angrily at his crew. Honestly, he had been sailing the seas for longer than any other pirate had! Did they think that something crawled in his skull unnoticed and devoured his brain? (though it was possible) 
    "Then, why are we going there?" a Kyrii asked sceptically. 
    "Because as it happens," Dread muttered casually. "The Dark Faerie is the only one who will probably help us in such a short amount of time." 
    "What do you mean by 'help us'? Are we in some kind of danger Cap'n?" a Krawk cried nervously. He then looked around him in a paranoid fashion. 
    Captain Dread sighed, he deeply hoped that he would not have to tell his failure to collect the money, but then knew he must. "Those scurvy Maraquan dogs didn't pay us- and I want them to realize that no one goes back on a deal with us pirates!" Dread hollered. 
    His cry was met with happy shouts of approval and delicate phrases such as "SMASH 'EM!" "DESTROY 'EM ALL!" and even the dainty little "TAKE 'EM ALL AS PRISONERS AND RIP 'EM TO SHREDS!" 
    "But Cap'n," a smart Techo shouted over the crowds of cheering pirates. "How will you convince the Faerie to help us?" 
    Dread quieted down the crowds, then smiled at the question. "Darkness Faeries are almost as greedy as pirates. I'll tell her that I'll give her a piece of me treasure if she helps, and then she'll DESTROY THE MARAQUANS!!!" 
    The crowd's roar started up again. 
    "But Cap'n!" the same Techo cried. "What if she doesn't like the gift? Who's to say she won't destroy us and take our gold as well?" 
    "Ye just leave that part to me an' don't worry ye little head..." Captain Dread said with a sinister smile. "Just leave that part to me..." 
    As the pirates turned the submarine the waters grew rockier. The Dark Faerie was the cause, she lived on a green storm cloud above the ocean, constantly making the waves rough for any unfamiliar travelers who sailed on her turf. But the pirates did not mind, if all went according to plan this would be worth it. 
    Finally, they rose to the surface, the Faerie's green cloud hovering above the rough waters. Captain Dread got out of the submarine and got on the cloud. 
    "Miss Darkness Faerie!" Dread cried as he saw her on the edge of the cloud. She was waving her hand slightly, making the waves abnormally rough. 
    "Yes?" she asked, not even glancing at the newcomer. 
    "I am Cap'n Dread, and I came here to assist ye help," Dread declared with a piercing glance. 
    "Why do you want 'ye help', 'Cap'n' Dread?" the Dark Faerie asked mockingly. She turned slightly and got a look at the Kiko. She giggled a bit, for she did not know Neopets could look that silly. 
    "I want revenge on someone." 
    "And who would that someone be Cap'n?" the Darkness Faerie chuckled. These Neopets and trying to be discrete! 
    "Maraqua," Dread snapped. 
    "The whole of it?" 
    "Yes." 
    "Well, well, don't we have a lot of issues..." the Dankness Faerie muttered. 
    "So will you do it?" Dread asked impatiently. 
    "Yes -- for a price." 
    "Will this do?" Captain Dread inquired as he pulled out a red and gold amulet from behind his back. 
    The Faerie looked at it, trying to suppress her interest, but could not hide the excitement in her eyes. It was big, clunky, valuable, and she loved it. 
    "Yes, that's very nice," the Faerie muttered happily. Of course, it would not have mattered what they gave her, she would just be destroying the ship and stealing their gold in the end anyway. 
    The Faerie then started flapping her bat-like wings; she wanted to get this done as quickly as possible. 
    "Make it look natural!" Dread called after her. She nodded, then continued to go off into the dark night sky. 
    An hour later, she returned to the cloud. Her hair was slightly messed up, but other than that, she looked fine. 
    "What did you do?" Captain Dread asked as soon as she landed. He had been on pins and needles since he left. 
    "Just a giant whirlpool. No one will suspect a thing," the Darkness Faerie muttered simply. "So, where's my amulet?" 
    "Right here," Dread said as he handed her the amulet, trying to suppress a smile. 
    The Faerie looked at it with the utmost pleasure. She then placed it around her neck. How beautiful it was! It shimmered even though there was very little light around. 
    "Now," the Faerie hissed as she popped her knuckles. Her eyes turned into slits and she glared at the Captain and his submarine evilly. "It's time to get your hoard. I'm sorry Captain, but this opportunity is to good for me to miss..." 
    "Oh, you should not be sorry," Dread replied, equally as evil. "It is I who should be sorry." 
    "Why's that?" the Faerie inquired nervously. 
    "Look at your feet." 
    The Faerie did as she was told and then gasped. The purple shoes that she had once worn were now gray stone, but that was not all. Her whole body was slowly turning into stone. 
    "Y-you!" she stuttered. "It's this amulet!" The Faerie desperately tried to take it off, but to no avail. 
    "Try as much as you like. You won't be able to get that off. The Faerie Queen tried to make one for the Battledome, but the formula she used for it was too strong. It froze the opponent until another took it off, which the Faerie Queen doubted would happen in the Battledome. So she banished it. Fortunately, I came across it. And let me guarantee you, I will never take it off for you," Captain Dread cackled. 
    The Darkness Faerie gazed at him angrily. She leaped forward to attack him, but as soon as she did the process completed. The Darkness Faerie was now a statue. 
    These are the facts: Captain Dread and his crew where seen carrying a large gray package towards the Maraqua Whirlpool. The Darkness Faerie that lived on that cloud has yet to be seen. A large statue that matched the Darkness Faerie's description has been found at the bottom of the Maraquan Whirlpool. Coincidence? That decision is up to you. 

The End

Some Pretty Weird & Bad Neopians (by epk)

(NOTE: This article just lists Captain Dread)

Okay, so I've been around Neopia for a little while and have done it all. But no matter where I turn there is always some pretty weird or bad Neopians staring at me. So I've made a list of the top ten pretty weird and bad Neopians on NeoPets. Watch out for these characters...

Number 10: humboldt*** (Last 3 characters censored for user's privacy) Okay, no offence humboldt***, but your were the only one who answered to my last article's Poll Question with the answer "Yes". And that meant I needed mental help. And I don't! I DON'T! AHHH! TAKE THAT! Man, I do need to see my psychiatrist.

Number 9: dark_epk Okay, this guy gives the creeps. He's not a one of those illegal people, but how he operates his account is amazing. He is in the same classification as the Dark Faeries, and all money will go either to making more NP or investing the stock VPTS... hmm... that sounds familiar. Oh, and NP will also be given to give his NeoPets a Shadow Colouring.

Number 8: The Uber-Dark Faerie If you've ever gotten a Faerie Quest from the Dark Faerie, (Not Jhudora,) you may of noticed she asks for TOYS. Yes, toys. What can a women of mass destruction do with a toy. Well... my Koi is afraid of Rubber Duckies... don't mention that I said that to him.

Number 7: Jhudora, other Dark Faerie Okay, now you can tell she's just messed up. Who in the world mumbles under her breath that Fyora the Faerie Queen may get mad at her for doing what she's doing? At the very least, she asks for items that could be used for evil. And she gives you a moderate prize.

Number 6: Chia Clown What in the world is this? Sure all Chia's are pretty weird, but this guy is even worse. First off all, my NeoPets can beat him in two... possibly one hit. Second of all, this is all he seems to say: Roll up roll up, its time for some fun! HONK HONK! OR I have a present for you... HONK!! And worst of all: Would you like a balloon animal??? By know I used my best weapons on him. And one last quote: Aww the little NeoPet is scared of the big bad clown! Whatever dead man.

Number 5: Someone Who Hates Fuzzles There was this one person I met. Man, he had two rooms in his NeoHome filled with beaten up, torn, and ripped Fuzzles. When I went and asked him why this was, he said it was only personal. What could a toy do to him? Had he had to much caffeine one day? Did a mutant Fuzzle attack him? Is he paranoid? Or does HE need Mental Help? Well, whoever he is, he got a spot on the Top 10. And boy, he's gonna love NeoPet's upcoming Fuzzle Shooting Game. And speaking of upcoming, what is Fangspire? (Go to the world page to know more!)

Number 4: Pant Devil The man in blue is totally weird. Who in the world carries a flag and steals items randomly from innocent Neopians? And he also bribed the faeries to give him a spot of the Wheel of Excitement? And most of all, what does he do with all the items? Does he also have a plan for mass destruction, or is he just a pig? Does he use the items for his spot in the Battledome, or does he just use them for leisure? I've been looking 24/7 for wherever his lair is... I want my Wand of Supernova back! GIVE IT BACK! (Don't tell him that he never did stole one, I just want to torture him into giving me the item.)

Number 3: Malkus Vile It you don't know about Malkus Vile, I'll tell you. He's a big ol' Skeith who is best known for trying to destroy the place known best as Coltzan's Shrine. Stupid... just plain stupid... but anyway, you can clearly tell he's evil. And it's not the first time he did something evil. And he gets all his battle plans from a more mysterious master.

Number 2: Doctor Sloth Your probably surprised the doctor only got second. After all, he was the one who created Mutant NeoPets. I've been around for all of his evil plots. His first plot was to shoot a ray onto Neopia that creates Mutants. His second was to destroy Maraqua, which luckily was unsuccessful for the time being. The third was destroy Sakhmet. I don't recall many others, but he surely probably has a bit to do with everything.

Number 1: Captain Dread Arrgh me maties! Captain Dread was the pirate Kiko who turned Maraqua into a whirlpool for not paying the ransom. I wouldn't be surprised if he turns his attention to places like Tombola. I mean, that guy goes into debt too often... but speaking of the Kiko again, he was the only evil person on this entire list who is actually successful with a plot of mass destruction.

Disclaimer: If anyone is offended by this material, like if they made it onto the list, it's not something against you, you made it by being Weird (at least to me... who says I need mental help?) and not being Bad, like Captain Dread. Oh... and let's say dark_epk agreed to be on this list and gave me some stock information. Thanks darkie!




Trivia

  • An image of Captain Dread holding a bottle and grinning is featured as a background in the game Kiko Match II.


BE Stat Limit.gif
This article has been labelled a stub. You can help the NeoDex by expanding it.