Neocola

2009-09-05T23:55:58Z

64.231.200.164:

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[[Image:Neocola ad.gif|frame|right|[[Dr. Sloth]] advertising Neocola.]]
Muahahahahaha (sometimes ''Neo'''C'''ola'') is a brand of [[Neopia]]n [[Wikipedia:Cola|cola]] [[Wikipedia:soft drink|soft drinks]] that appear to be inspired by the real life brand [[Wikipedia:Pepsi|Pepsi Cola]] - the Neocola logo is a cropped rotation of the Pepsi logo. It is the principle rival of [[Achyfi]], and contrasts their wide line of elaborate flavours with varieties designed for a more general appeal. Neocola is often advertised tongue-in-cheek-ly by [[Dr. Sloth]].

There were hints and some other, less conventional flavours - including [[Juppie]] and cheese (formerly [[Koi]]) - in the description for ''Cherry Neocola''. [[The Neopets Team]] [http://www.neopets.com/newnt/index.phtml?section=editorial&week=86 later suggested] that these may have been prototypes that were never marketed.

==Varieties==
[[Image:Neocola cans.png|frame|left|Several varieties of Neocola.]]
As of April 2009, there are nine canned varieties of Neocola, and two retired bottled varieties:

*'''Apple Neocola''' - ''We didnt think it could be done... but yes now Neocola is available in tangy apple flavour.''
*'''Big Gulp Neocola''' - ''Take a BIG GULP of Neocola with this handy bigger bottle!!! Mmmmmm!''
*'''Can of Neocola''' - ''A can of Neocola may be just the thing to get your pet ready for a new day.''
*'''Caffeine Free Neocola''' - ''A can of caffeine free Neocola may be just the thing to get your pet ready for a new day.''
*'''Cherry Neocola''' - ''Normal cola just tastes that much better with a hint of cherry. Look out for Raspberry, Juppie and Cheese flavours!''
*'''Dented Can of Expired Pumpkin Neocola''' - ''Hrmmm... something seems to have happened to this can of neocola.''
*'''Dented Can of Neocola''' - ''Are you sure it's still safe to drink?''
*'''Diet Big Gulp Neocola''' - ''Take a BIG GULP of Diet Neocola with this handy bigger bottle!!! Mmmmmm! Only one calorie!''
*'''Diet Neocola''' - ''A can of Diet Neocola may be just the thing to get your pet ready for a new day. Only one calorie also!''
*'''Grapefruit Neocola''' - ''Your favourite NeoCola, blended with Grapefruit for that zesty taste your Neopet will love!''
*'''Raspberry Neocola''' - ''Your favourite NeoCola, blended with Raspberries for that zesty taste your Neopet will love!''

There is also a [[Battledome]] weapon, the ''Shaken-up Can of Neocola'', that does 2 - 5 icons of air damage and 2 - 5 icons of water damage. Neocola is the subject of two [[book]]s, a [[toy]] and a [[plushie]], a jellypop, and fizzy and non-fizzy varieties of [[wikipedia:Gummies|gummy candies]] (called ''Neocola Bottles'' and ''Fizzy Neocola Bottles'' respectively).

==Neocola Machine==
[[Image:Cola machine.gif|frame|right|The remote vending machine on Kreludor.]]
The Neocola Machine is suspicious a [[vending machine]] located on [[Kreludor]]. It accepts Red, Green, or Blue Neocola tokens bearing [[Dr. Sloth]]'s visage, and dispenses [[Virtupets]]-, Dr. Sloth-, or Neocola-related prizes and a sum of [[neopoints]]. The machine - apparently a thinly disguised 'Doom Dispenser 3000' machine - has options for the following beverages (although none of them are actually ever dispensed, and apparently do not exist):

{|
|-
|width="50%" valign="top"|
*''Dr. Slother'' - parodying ''[[wikipedia:Doctor Pepper|Doctor Pepper]];
*''Diet Doom''
*''Na'cho Cola''
*''Smite'' - parodying ''[[Wikipedia:Sprite (soft drink)|Sprite]]'';
|width="50%" valign="top"|
*''Alt-Tab'' - lampooning the [[wikipedia:alt-tab|task switcher shortcut]] and the drink ''[[wikipedia:Tab (soft drink)|Tab]]'';
*''Minion Maid'' Parodying Minute Maid
*''Mountain Poo'' - parodying ''[[wikipedia:Mountain Dew|Mountain Dew]]'';
*''Dehydrated [[wikipedia:water|H2O]]'' - an [[wiktionary:oxymoron|oxymoron]].
|}

In addition to selecting one of these fictitious beverages, the user can also choose to press a red button zero, one, two, three, ten, or [[wikipedia:42|forty-two]] times. A prize is dispensed after this, including:

{|
|-
|width="50%" valign="top"|
*[[Baby Space Fungus]]
*Dastardly [[Fuzzle|Evil Fuzzle]]
*Dented Can of Neocola
*Fake Neocola Token On a String
*Fake Sloth Tattoo
*Gummy Baby [[Space Fungus]]
*I Club Sloth T-Shirt
*Kreludan [[Grundo]] Slippers
*Lint-Covered Peanut
|width="50%" valign="top"|
*Non-Sticky [[Sticky Hand]]
*Plastic [[Ring of Sloth]]
*Shaken-up Can of Neocola
*Sloth Gummies
*Sponge [[Grundo]] Sponge
*Super Energy Blast Drink
*Wind Up Dr. Sloth Toy
*[[Virtupets]] Brand Doomsday Device
|}

==Trivia==
*The Neocola Machine was [http://neopets.com/ntimes/index.phtml?week=306 featured] as the sponsor of the [[Neopian Times]], accompanied by a section of the Dr. Sloth Neocola advertisement. The same image was used in [http://www.neopets.com/newnt/index.phtml?section=4821&week=36 an earlier article] about the competing soft drinks Neocola and Achyfi.

==External links==
*'''[[IDB]]:''' [http://idb.finalhit.org/indepth/id/2320 Shaken-up Can of Neocola]
*'''Editorial:''' [http://www.neopets.com/newnt/index.phtml?section=editorial&week=72 #72], [http://www.neopets.com/newnt/index.phtml?section=editorial&week=86 #86], [http://www.neopets.com/newnt/index.phtml?section=editorial&week=147 #147], [http://www.neopets.com/ntimes/index.phtml?section=editorial&issue=158 #158]
*'''Neogreetings:''' [http://neopets.com/sendgreeting.phtml?sponsearch=&greeting_id=278 Neocola Advert]
*[http://www.neopets.com/moon/neocola.phtml Neocola Machine]

[[Category:Food]]

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2009-09-05T23:53:32Z

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