Tue Mar 29, 2005 7:56 am
I've got loads of these!:
Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"
The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"
One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"
<hr>
There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"
The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"
One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"
<hr>
There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
Tue Mar 29, 2005 7:32 pm
.:Chronically Depressed:. wrote:I've got loads of these!:
Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"
The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"
One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"
<hr>
There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
Oh my goodness!
That first one is the funniest thing ever!!!
Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:53 pm
I'll give you 2 more for now!:
Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" The first blonde said while pointing to the ground.
"Those are deer tracks," the other blonde replied.
"Oh no,"she said to the first, "Those are definitely moose tracks."
With this, they began to argue. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them.
<hr>
Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?"
2nd blonde: "Chickens."
1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?"
2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have both of them!!"
1st blonde: Well, I think you've got three."
Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" The first blonde said while pointing to the ground.
"Those are deer tracks," the other blonde replied.
"Oh no,"she said to the first, "Those are definitely moose tracks."
With this, they began to argue. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them.
<hr>
Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?"
2nd blonde: "Chickens."
1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?"
2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have both of them!!"
1st blonde: Well, I think you've got three."
Thu Mar 31, 2005 5:53 pm
*laughs* I have a couple!
A blonde walks into a hair salon, and the lady asks "Ma'am, I need you to take off your headphones so I can do your hair." The blonde doesn't listen. Again the lady says "Please take off your headphones so I can do your hair." The blonde takes off her headphones, and about five minutes later she drops dead. The hair dresser is freaking out, until she picks up the headphones. "Breathe in, breathe out..."
and one more...
What do you call 3 blondes in a freezer? Frosted flakes.
A blonde walks into a hair salon, and the lady asks "Ma'am, I need you to take off your headphones so I can do your hair." The blonde doesn't listen. Again the lady says "Please take off your headphones so I can do your hair." The blonde takes off her headphones, and about five minutes later she drops dead. The hair dresser is freaking out, until she picks up the headphones. "Breathe in, breathe out..."
and one more...
What do you call 3 blondes in a freezer? Frosted flakes.
Thu Mar 31, 2005 6:07 pm
LOL I like the first one DM!
Thu Mar 31, 2005 6:27 pm
.:Chronically Depressed:. wrote:LOL I like the first one DM!
Thanks! My mom tells that one a lot and it never gets old.
Sat Apr 16, 2005 10:24 pm
ok, I've got one...2 blonde guys were building a house and the one building the walls was continually throwing nails over his shoulder, so the one building the floors comes over and asks him "Why dod you keep throwing all those nails away?" "Well" replies the other blonde guy, "When I pull out a nail, if it's facing twords the wall I hammer it in. If it's facing twords me I throw it away, 'cause it's defective." "YOU MORON!!" yells the other blonde "THEY'RE NOT DEFECTIVE!!!!!! THEY'RE FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE!!"
Sun Apr 17, 2005 7:06 am
three blondes were in a car going to disneyworld. After a 6 hour carride, they finally see a sign: Disneyland left.
So they went home.
So they went home.
Sun Apr 17, 2005 11:09 am
Ectoy2 wrote:three blondes were in a car going to disneyworld. After a 6 hour carride, they finally see a sign: Disneyland left.
So they went home.
Yeah I've heard that one XD funny though
Sun Apr 17, 2005 11:27 am
.:Chronically Depressed:. wrote:Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?"
2nd blonde: "Chickens."
1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?"
2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have both of them!!"
1st blonde: Well, I think you've got three."
That one was really funny.
Sun Apr 17, 2005 11:44 am
Qanda wrote:.:Chronically Depressed:. wrote:Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?"
2nd blonde: "Chickens."
1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?"
2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have both of them!!"
1st blonde: Well, I think you've got three."
I thought so too XD