PPTers say the darndest things...

[Sapphire Faerie]

Ok, while back, sometime during the summer, I decided, for no real reason, to begin looking into the individual posts of members, and quoting the funniest things I found. I only collected quotes from boards and threads I visited regularly. Some were meant to be intentionally funny, and some just came out that way.
And then I became a moderator, and then the forums got revamped. I had the quotes saved in notepad under the old board titles, and so after the revamp, I had to change a few of them. I collected just a few more quotes after that. And then I shelved the project. I'd always known I would post them in Misc Disc someday, though I'd planned to do it sooner.
Maybe someday I'll collect more quotes, who knows. Someday you might just wander into Misc Disc and see "PPTers say the darndest things: Part 2"

Without further ado, I give you the quotes, in order that the boards appear in the PPT index:

Announcements

...JIM MUST BE EXTERMINATED.

*takes out bazooka* *loads it with radioactive marshmallows* Okay, Jim! Termination time begins now! Restistance is futile! You have no chance to escape make your time! *BAM!!!* *marshmallow bounces off of Jim's Admin Forcefield and comes back at me* AAAAAAHHH!!! T______T

*rubs head* That hurt.

General

I guess I can merrily continue to feed my pet things scraped off a rock, then.

Even if this is a legitmate scam...

It's gone from a smart-alecky but still cute pet (previous revamp) to a cross-eyed, goateed, happy smiling gnome.

Movies & Television

Whoever wrote that article on that website is rather, erm....uninformed. Which is the polite way of saying 'oblivious in all ways to X-men' which is the nice way of putting 'stupid'

{Besides, Catwoman wore a full catsuit, not a strip of leather covering her "upper bits" and pants with the power to suffocate.}

The Library

Trust me, book seven will be named 'Harry Potter and the Intricacies of a Flobberworm's Mind, and How He Finally Realized (random top-secret flobber-worm stuff) Is the Meaning of Life and the Only Way How to Destroy You-Know-Who, the Stupid Boy'.

"...You are writing children's books, you need to be a ruthless killer."

(J.K. Rowling in an interview)


The Locker Room

ack tell me about it. we have the israeli channel thing here and all they talked about on the news was: medal, MEDAL, medal, medal, anarchy and violence in gaza, medal, MEDAL, medal, medal. i got up and walked out of the room eventually.

Miscellaneous Discussion

...and i got chased by a giraffe.

Well, I don't think it was rabid, but there was this squirrel that let me get up close to it... I thought it was just nice. But then it came running at me, and I was like "EEEEEK!" and tried to hit it with a stick. It was also making weird grunting noises. And when I ran to the other side of the lawn, it climbed up on a tree branch, like it was gonna dive-bomb me! So when I ran inside my house, I heard it screeching, like "EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!". It was crazy. O_o;;

I have insane squirrels around my yard that try to crack open/eat rocks. Large rocks.

...and we once had the world's largest coke bottle...but it burnt down.

Fine. But when that happens, I'm coming to live with you and I'm going to dye all your clothes hot pink.

I remember i was in this musical and one of my friends needed those pants suspenders for his costume.. so he went into the op shop and asked for suspenders and the lady was like "OOOOOOOKKKKAYYY" and brought out these kinky female leg suspenders thinking he was this weirdo or something lol.*

Thank you very much, Christopher for reminding us of that important issue. I'm sure we'll all sleep soundly in our beds tonight, knowing that less people will shove their arms down a plastic cup holder.

Once, I swear to God, I saw a gorgeous, talented man at my bedstead. I screamed, waking up the household. It was just my Clay Aiken poster.

Last night I was making a slice of toast.

Nothing unusual about that, I hear you cry.


Well this slice of toast was..POSSESSED!!!

Disclaimer: The quotes herein are the sole property of their respective authors. Don't sue me, or kill me, or anything like that.

[Silja]

I take baths cause I have a spa and you don't.

Yeah, well...I have a rash! Ha!

Touche shapu.

Can't forget this one now can we?

[Christopher]

Oh dear. The cup holder story is back to haunt me.

I have several quotes of my own that I am tempted to bring forth now...

[Igg]

That were funny.

Hm.

[hiddenneggs]

"Quotable Quotes," as Readers' Digest phrases it:


"It is unbecoming to a PPT member to compare other members to Neopets GCers (shudder....)"
--NeopetsMom

"Figures that a single Grundo can debunk a good theory."
--digitel_anime_fan_20

"I'd feel dirty voting for someone who thinks their religion ought to be applied to law in the United States."
--SpiraLethe

[Tymaporer]

I guess I'm not funny...*puts on clown suit* Wait...clowns are ugly. *takes off clown suit and puts on George W. Bush suit* Wait...he's ugly too.

[Qanda]

I guess I'm not funny...*puts on clown suit* Wait...clowns are ugly. *takes off clown suit and puts on George W. Bush suit* Wait...he's ugly too.

I just quoted you. You are funny! Happy?

[.:Glass Miracle:.]

LOL! Those cracked me up, and I remember reading some of them somewhere before.

I guess I'm not funny...*puts on clown suit* Wait...clowns are ugly. *takes off clown suit and puts on George W. Bush suit* Wait...he's ugly too.

You know, if Sapphire Faerie put down EVERY single funny quote she found, the list would be endless. She just chose the funniest quotes; it doesn't mean you're not funny at all.

And on a side note, I quoted you.

[robot]

Murr, I almost forgot about the Catwoman discussion... >.<

Christopher, what is this plastic cup holder story about and how did I miss it?

[Anubis]

I know that whenever we get a topic like this, everyone tries to be funny in order to be quoted. *none yet* *proved wrong* Oh well. *yes, I am soo trying to be funny*

[Cassi]

It's everyone trying to be funny that makes these type of threads so amusing. =)

[Igg]

I haven't found anything on here particularly funny yet.
And I know I haven't had my sense of humour removed because i was watching Blackadder earlier and laughing my head off.

[Christopher]

Christopher, what is this plastic cup holder story about and how did I miss it?

In short:

Christopher goes to the movies. Christopher get bored and fidgets. Christopher shoves arm through one of the cup holders besider the seat. Arm gets stuck. Christopher cant get arm out for 20 mins. Christopher finally gets arm out. Christopher learns valueble lesson.

[Cassi]

Well, you have a strange sense of humor anyway. Give it time, people should get at least slightly funny as this progresses..or not, but we should have a little bit of faith in them.

[Fiddelysquat]

My most memorable posts are the traditional mud-slinging posts Chrome and I did for the PPTbies.