1. The easy way always gets you frozen.
2. The quality of a Neopian Times story is inversely proportional to the quality of the picture the Staff will use to represent it.
3. The neochat monitors never watch until you make a mistake.
4. The Neopian Lottery is similar to the real lottery in that you will never, ever win it.
5. In the Wheel of Excitement, the “Mystery Prize” slot is 10 times larger than pictured.
6. No matter how many codestones you buy, you’ll never get the right combination of the ones you need.
7. The Lupe at the Golden Dubloon can’t do math, so don’t even try.