Beginning Statement
Everyone knew it would happen someday. Neopets, the popular website would come out with a console game. I had big expectations about the game, but now I’m not sure what to think anymore. That’s why I’ve assembled this rant so I can get my points across.
Neopets has indeed told there users about the new game release. It will be on the Playstation console and be released by SCEA. It’s developer is the Code Monkeys, Ltd. Though seeming like excellent choices, they aren’t.
Console Problem
This is where our first problem begins. Playstation is an almost dead console, barely ever having new games. Even though PSX was known for starting such games as Spyro the Dragon and Crash Bandicoot, the system has gone out. Why not just never make the game in the first place? If Adam and Donna could have thought about the gaming world for a simple second, they would realize a release with Game Boy Advance SP or Gamecube would have been much better and attracted a better audience.
Feature Problems
I will come back to the console choice later. Let us look at what E3 says about the game, starting with the features. We’ll do them one by one. First comes first.
A fun-filled adventure featuring Neopets from the popular website.
Seems great, doesn’t it. There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s fine. It’s a fun-filled adventure! Good, now moving on.
Discover colorful worlds, unlock new quests, play fun mini-games and earn up to 450 valuable items.
That’s perfect. Colorful worlds: That’s really cool. New quests: Well, who really wants more quests, but okay. Mini-games: Cool, just wonder what they are. Kourga Katch, JubJub Dance, Bruce Ball? 450 valuable items: Good, but what exactly do they mean by valuable items?
Play as Grimilix the Grundo, Tormund the Lupe, or Sally the Aisha whose stories intertwine into one big adventure.
Wow, what silly choices. Maybe I haven’t been around Neopets long enough but who the heck are Tormund the Lupe and Sally the Aisha. I know who Grimilik the Grundo is but the other two I’ve never heard of. I guess it’s okay.
Equip your character with swords, wands, gadgets, and armor to defend against the power of the Darkest Faerie.
Okay, it sounds cool. Very interesting so far…
12 different Mini-Games provide tons of game play variety and an opportunity to earn rare Neopian Items or collect Neopoints.
I have no problem with this except…didn’t they already say stuff about the Mini-Games awhile back…Maybe E3 just forgot or maybe Neopets asked E3 to add bunches of extra lines for it to look like they had a lot of features.
Light-hearted action/adventure game play that all levels of gamers will enjoy.
Wait, slow down here. This is a feature? My gosh, this is not a feature, this is a godforsaken review!
Neopets fans will have access to 100 new Neopets Items that can be collected and used both in the game and on Neopets website. These items can be transferred, via Neopets Rare Item Codes embedded into the video game, to a players online account.
Neopets will offer special Playstaton Faerie Quests to it’s online users after the games release, which will allow players to replay parts of NEOPETS The Darkest Faerie to complete these quests, thus extending the players’ experience long after they have finished the original storyline.
Yeah, more quests. I thought we had enough of them. What are we going to do now? Go back into the game and find twenty valuable items and give them up to a stupid faerie to get barely anything back. Sorry, got carried away…
Available to the PSX console which is in 34 million households worldwide.
Okay, this is sick. THIS ISN’T EVEN A FEATURE! It’s just stating a fact. By all means, just have a fact page! God, what is wrong with E3 and Neopets? (If anyone can answer that, please neomail me at sirussblack)
Graphic Problems
Let us go on to graphics. (This is getting long, isn’t it?)
Now, the PSX graphics have never been great. Now, as this section is called graphic problems, I won’t talk about that, but I’ll talk about PSX graphics.
When PSX first came out, they were state of the art graphics, now there second class.
Why did Neopets chose a console with second rate graphics I don’t know.
If you see the screen shots of the game, you can see the graphics are similar to Spyro and Crash Bandicoot. It’s kind of a 3-D world, but some things look 2-D.
That’s really all I can say about graphics because I’m not a graphics kind of guy.
Ending Statement
Living up to the article name, I’m going to say my opinion.
Being a Neopets user for almost 20 months (official as of August 8, 2003) I’ll buy the game simply because it’s a Neopets title. I know this is wrong, but I will. If you don’t want to do that, you can rent it first and then if you like it you can buy it.
NEOPETS The Darkest Faerie comes out November 2003 (I think it is the 15th but I’m not sure).
If you would like to contact me, neomail me at sirussblack. – by Jake