Why Not to go to the Haunted Woods After Dark by Jason Meek

Kym Huynh —  July 20, 2017 — 1 Comment

Brain Tree: I shall keep everyone else up all night…
Esophagor: Wwweeeeeeeeellllllllllllll, I caaaaaaan seeeeeeeee thaaat I won’ttt geeet to slleeepp annyyywaayyy, ssoooooooo, whhyyyyyy noot?
Witch: Oh, just shut up, it’ll keep down quest business!
Brain Tree: Why should I?
Esophagor: Riiiiiigggggggghttttttt, whhhhhhyyyyyyy shoooouullllldd weeee?
Brain Tree: I never invited you to join in!
Esophagor: Yyyouuuuuuu ddoooooonnnn’ttt wwwwwwaaaaaaaanttttt tooo seeeee meeeeeee ouutttttt oofffffff ttheeeee grrrrouuuuuuuundddddd…
Brain Tree: Why should I, of all trees, have to listen to YOU!? You DO give away all my answers…
Esophagor: Weeelllllllll, eeeeeeexxxxxxcuuuuuuuseeee mmmmeeeeeeeee!!!! HHoowwww eeellllllssseeeeeeee wouuulddd aanyyyyonnnnne kkknnnnnoooooooww?
Brain Tree: That’s the whole POINT of quests, hardness! I saw this ciamanager guy come up and finish two of your quests in less than one hour!

Witch: I can report you two!
Brain Tree: We’re not members, so we can’t be frozen!
Witch: So? They can take you off the site!
Esophagor: WWhoooooooooo reaaaaaalllllllyyyyyy ccccarrrrrrrrrreeeessss?
Brain Tree: Yeah! I know! Let’s invite a music group over to keep people up even longer!
Esophagor: AAAAlllllllllllbbbbbbeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttt! Feeeeeeeettttttttcccccchhhhhh mmmmeeeeee a ccellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll ppphhhhhhhhooooooooonnnnnnnnneee!
Albert (Kacheek): Since when do you eat those?
Brain Tree: I ask the questions around here!
[Three hours later]
Esophagor: YYYooooooooouuuuuuuuuu hhhhhhavvvvvvveeeeeee theeeeeeeeee pphhhhhhhhooooonnneee?
Brain Tree: Albert! Answer this question: What is the phone number of Justin Timberlake?
Albert: How should I know?
Witch: What is the e-mail address of the neopets staff?
Brain Tree: I WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
Witch: Well, EXCUSE me!
Brain Tree: ALBERT, YOU MUST KNOW THE PHONE NUMBER OF A MUSIC GROUP!!!
Albert: This is Neopets, not MTV…
Esophagor: Tiimmeeee isssssssssss rrrruuuuunnnniiinnnnnnnngggg ooooouuuuuuuuutttt…
Albert: For what?
Brain Tree: THE NIGHT’S ALMOST OVER!
Witch: THANK YOU!!!
Esophagor: CCaaaaaakkkkkkkkeee…
Brain Tree: Oh come on, for a while you weren’t hungry..
Esophagor: II sssmmmmmmeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllll ccccccccaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkeeeeeee…
Witch: Here comes another argument…
Esophagor: CCCaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeee…
Albert: Where am I supposed to find CAKE?
Esophagor: SSSSHHHHHHHUUUUUUTTTTTTT YYYOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR PPIIIIIIIIIIEEEE HHHHOOLLLLLEEEEESSSSSS!
Brain Tree: Now I’m getting hungry…
Albert: You seem nicer than the Esophagor. Can I work for you and find you food?
Esophagor: Thhhheeeeeeeee tttttiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmeeeee iiiiisssssssssss 6:30 AM……..
Brain Tree: ALBERT! YOU HAVE FAILED!
Albert: Maybe I don’t want to work for you then… *sheesh*
Witch: Albert, will you get some stuff to make these guys SHUT UP?
Albert: OFFER TAKEN!
Brain Tree: I will give out the quests from now on!
Esophagor: WWWWWhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaatttttttt aaaabbbbbbbboooooooooooutt mmmmmeeeeeeeeeeee?
Brain Tree: You only ruin it!
Witch: Hurry up, Albert…
Brain Tree: Stop giving away answers, Esophagor, and you may still be in the business!
Esophagor: Wwwwweeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, wwhhhhhhhhhhaaaaattttttt ddddddddooooooooooo YYYYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU eeevvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr gggeeeeeeeettttt ffffffooooooooorrrrr yyyyyooooooouuuuuuuuurrrrr qqquuuuuuuueeeeeeesssssssssssttttttssssssssss?
Brain Tree: Useful information…
Esophagor: DDDoooooooooooo yyyyyyooooooooouuuuuuuuuu kkkkkkknnnnnnnnnnnooooooooowwwww aaaannnnnnnnnnyyyyyyy mmmmmmmmaaaaaaaatttttttthhhhhh?
Brain Tree: Maybe…James Mynci and Tom Peophin both died 12 years apart…
Esophagor: IIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT’SSSSSSSSS IIIIIINNNNNNNNN TTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHEEEEE PPPPPAAAAASSSSSSST!
Brain Tree: Well, you get fed and you’re still hungry…
Witch: Albert! You’re back!
Albert: I didn’t get the ingredients…the shops were closed…
Witch: ALBERT! YOU ARE GOING TO BE A MUTANT FOREVER!
Albert: Hey, look at the time, it’s 9:00 AM…
Witch: Albert! They’re going to shut up for once!
Brain Tree: That’s what you think… – Jason Meek

Kym Huynh

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One response to Why Not to go to the Haunted Woods After Dark by Jason Meek

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