Bottled Faeries: An introduction
Every citizen of Neopia knows about the elusive Bottled Faeries and their opportunities. Bottled faeries can greatly benefit both your pets and your bank account, shopkeepers and tradesmen alike owe their entire fortune to these critters in a jar, but what do we really know about this industry?
This aspiring Neopian Times reporter dug deep to bring you the dirt, the terrifying secrets and scandals surrounding the lucrative business that is Faerie Poaching. After years of aggravating and often dangerous research, we now present you with the complete story behind one of Neopias darkest trades.
When Bottled Faeries first hit the market, Neopians everywhere went wild at the possibilities. Prices for these highly valued items skyrocketed immediately after their release, the stock market was abuzz with rumors of incredible riches to be gained by buying, buying, buying, the landscape of the famous Neopian battledome changed forever. What many Neopians forgot and still tend to overlook is that these bottles contain living, breathing creatures.
After months of lobbying, begging and negotiating, we were able to interview one of the most prominent parties in this trade. Fyora, a prominent faerie politician, states the following:
Fyora: The abduction and imprisonment of the citizens of Faerieland has gone by unpunished for far too long. Every day dozens of our citizens disappear. This has been going on for years and I have been fighting this despicable crime since the very beginning, but nothing seems to be done about it. The Defenders of Neopia sit and watch it happen, Nigel the Commodity Broker Chia refuses to ban the companies selling the product, shopkeepers everywhere are more concerned with their profit than the wellbeing of the citizens! I refuse to play the blame game, but I think we all know who is responsible for this travesty of Faerie Rights.
It is no secret that Fyora accuses Balthazar the Bounty Hunter, Faerie Poacher extraordinaire and CEO of Balthazars Faerie Bottling Inc. The following is an interview with this debated businessman.
Neopian Times: What is your reaction concerning the accusations of Fyora and the Faerie Leaders?
Balthazar: Oh please, these people don’t have a leg to stand on. I bet they didn’t tell you some of these faeries come to me personally, asking to be sold! They spend a couple of days in a bottle, get released soon enough and get a fair cut of the profit. They make some money, I make some money and a pet gets a nice ability, in the end everybodys happy.
NT: Yes, but you are being accused of abduction. They have plans to sue.
B: If anyone has the right to sue, its me! These silly accusations are hurting sales all over Neopia. I’m an honest man, I don’t have to sit here and take this slander. I built this company from scratch and I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. I used to go out in the woods myself, with nothing but a net and some bottles while these creatures had nothing better to do than flutter around and hand out silly quests to passersby. Everyone has a right to start a business and if its profitable, why stop? I employ over two hundred Neopians and 12% of them are citizens of Faerieland. Jhudora herself supports my business!
NT: It’s funny that you should mention Jhudora. It is a well-known fact that the Faerie Counsel is trying to get a ban on Bottled Faeries. Some say she has been taking bribes to stop this course of action.
B: Look, I’m a busy man. I can’t sit here all day listening to these accusations. If that was all, I would like to get back to work.
Dark Faerie Jhudora states to have no comments on the previous, and tried to bribe me into doing her shopping instead. Is this proof that the accusations are, indeed, true? Further investigation will undoubtedly reveal more!
To get a new angle on these events, we went to visit the Defenders of Neopia Headquarters and had a chat with Judge Hog, leader of this team of crime fighters and Neopias sole law enforcement organization.
Judge Hog: Well, it is not as easy as it seems. Multimillion np corporations aren’t really in our particular idiom, you see. A ghost Lupe breaks into your house, fine, we get it for you. Some kids get pestered at the beach, we send a team and deal with it. What you’re talking about has less to do with crime fighting than it has with lawsuits, Faerie Rights Charters and all that jazz. We don’t deal with this kind of thing. We found our niche in life and were running with it as long as it works. We did do dome pretty amazing things, you know. That Cave Chia? Got im!
The Story of a Bottled Faerie
It has taken us a fair amount of searching, pleading and negotiating, but at long last we were able to find one young faerie willing to delve into her old trauma. Talia (this is not her real name, as she wishes to remain anonymous) was captured six years ago and is now ready to tell her story.
Talia: It was six years ago, to this day. Me and my friends were out in the forest near Brightvale. I remember every detail of that day. It was summer and we had been playing by the lake the entire day. When it got dark we decided to go home, but then it happened.
I remember seeing a shadow moving behind us and pointing it out to my friends. We got a bit scared and started running, and all of a sudden he leapt out at us with a huge net. We were trapped before we knew what happened. I remember banging the glass as hard as I could and screaming, but I couldn’t breathe. He punched some holes in the lid with his dirty fingernails. He was laughing too, I just know he enjoyed it, so I settled down. Then he put us in a bag. It was very dark in there and all I could hear was the crying of my friends. I don’t know how long we were in there, but at some point the bottles were taken out and I was sold to a shopkeeper. (Blinks away a tear, her voice gets shaky) I must have spent nearly a week in there. It was so humiliating. I knew what they wanted from me. Id be set free to bless a pet, I knew that all along. I wouldve blessed a Dung Jelly if itd gotten me out of there, but all I could do was wait. Then I was sold and I was so happy to finally go home. I was wrong. I was put into another shop, then another. Afterwards they told me I had been gone for over six months, I lost track myself. When they finally released me I even forgot to bless that pet, I just went home as fast as possible. For the last six years I’ve been afraid to go outside, afraid of the dark, I’m tired of being scared all the time. I cant understand why anyone would do such a thing. Money, I guess. Well, my friends got back safely too and we decided to form a support group for those who have been through the same ordeal. Were also open to friends and family of the abducted faeries. Last week, we had Fyora as a guest speaker and she really convinced us that we should keep fighting the industry. We do what we can, but we still have a long road before us.
- 352: Approximate number a faeries abducted each day.
- 2,689: Number of faeries still unaccounted for and presumed lost.
- 3,800 – 10,000: The amount of neopoints spent on Bottled Faeries in Neopian shops.
- 860,000: The number of faeries captured, bottled, sold and released to this day.
- 23,000,000: The estimated profit per year for Balthazars Faerie Bottling Inc.
(Many thanks go out to the Library Faerie for providing us with these numbers.)
You have read the statements. You have seen the evidence. Now, you can decide for yourself. Is Faerie Bottling a harmless trade to be enjoyed by every Neopian, or a criminal organization that should have been dealt with ages ago? This reporter has made up her mind. To close this gripping journey into the darkest depths of Neopian trade, a quote from Fyora:
No one complains about the injustice that benefits them. True courage is not fighting to gain, it is fighting at the risk of losing everything.