Pink Poogle Toy Forum

Loosing a hand or fingers at some poignant or symbollic moment
Anakin and Luke Skywalker - Star Wars (George Lucas)

Rand al'Thor - The Wheel of Time (Robert Jordan)

Thomas Covenant - The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever (Stephen R. Donaldson)

Frodo Baggins - Lord of the Rings (JRR Tokien)

Will Parry - His Dark Materials (Philip Pullman)

Roland of Gilead - The Dark Tower (Stephen King)

What do these main characters (and many others I expect) all have in common? A tired motif. That's what. Can you guess what it is? The answer is in the post.

What endlessly repeditive literary devices now irritate you beyond measure everytime you encounter them. It seems that every book I pick up these days at some point contains this particular one.

The ubituous "Female Fantasy armour".
You know the one, where every female wears revealing armour that should be about as effective as. Well. Revealing body armour/

And on a side note, warriors that go into battle without Helms, although this applies mainly to Warhammer.

"For Courage! For FREEEEEDOM!"
*Blam*
"... Err. Sarge?"

Chicks with claymores, or something like one.

I mean, really, tiny, thin girls with revealing armor who also wield claymores? Come on.

In real life, it'd likely be impossible for one of them to actually pick one up without promptly dropping it- I'd know, I tried to do so a few years ago, and could barely hold it. :/

People who can speak to animals but OMG NO ONE ELSE THEY KNOW CAN DO SO, so they are ~*~*special*~*~ and have lots of animal friends and teeheehee giggles and rainbows and crap.

Boy wizards

There's no motif so tired that it can't get a big boost from an energy drink from time to time, but I have to say insectoid aliens are right up there.

Damsels.
Quest-giving women with long, flowing hair and an angelic appearance.
Buxom women who squeal helplessly as they fall prey to vampires.
Any other useless females in fantasy/horror. I like to see women kick butt.

Also, anytime anyone shouts something ridiculous mid-battle(like "The Goddess!" or "Try this on for size!"), I die a little inside.

I'm tired of large-scale metaphors that professors and teachers tend to find and make a big deal out of that really, according to the author, mean absolutely nothing. Man, that used to make me angry in school.

"OMG I AM YOUR FATHER!!" - that is so cliche.

And time travel. It got so old. Next time someone explains a mystery with time travel I'm gonna scream. Especially when they use that damn metaphor: "time is like this sheet of paper, the present is here and the future is there, and if you put the margins together you can travel through time!" ;_;

Yeah, I've tried to lift one and they are damned heavy :|
That and a Halberd, I never got to wear the plate mail (I was angreh at that) but Halberds rock so that was cool.



As Insectoid aliens are the most probably form of life (Being highly advanced and unencumbered by concepts such as civil rights and liberty... Ewww) I'm fine with them.
That, And they look cool.

Speaking of which.

Fighting in corsets.

That makes me so unbelievably annoyed- okay, tiny girls with huge swords is one thing, but ANYONE fighting in a corset- be it a girl, guy, or some random troll who for some reason is wearing a corset- is just freaking ridiculous.

"HA! I shall stomp on you with my stilettoes (which conveniently somehow do not at all hinder my ability to fight!) and do acrobatic tricks while being unable to breathe at the same time! Take THAT!"

ROFLOL!

Or how about stories where the tough girl/warrior princess/tomboy eventually falls in love with a guy who she's been telling to get lost for days and days and then decides she DOES want to wear a pretty dress and bat her eyelids a lot.

My personal favorite: An evil villian usually has piles and hordes of dedicated followers who are willing to fight and die for him. When he is killed by the hero, all the evil hordes-men kind of look at each other and shrug and say "Well gee, he's dead, what should we do? I guess we'll just go quietly now and let you have your happy ending. You'll never hear from us again unless the supreme commander happened to have an evil twin and we need a sequel."

Urgh, you can stick Petra Arkanian there, all right. By Shadow Puppets, the only thing remaining of her original character is that she's, you know, pretty smart.

Haha, true. Except she was an idiot for letting Bean fly off in a spaceship while she just died.

Bad guys never die the violent deaths they forced on the good guys.

Anyone who had a troubled childhood now has MPD.

Teenage angst. Of the "OMG I have no boobs and am never going to get a boyfriend and my friend is DROP-DEAD gorgeous!" variety.

CHICK LIT IN GENERAL.

My sister can't get enough and tries fobbing them off on me when she's done reading them. Where do all these insanely attractive billionare CEO's who are wildly promiscuous but fall head-over heels for "fiesty" secretaries live???

Not around here, I can tell you.

I'm also sick to death of people randomly stumbling in to a fairy world. I don't want to read another tired old book about how Mary Sue fell into the toilet and somehow ended up in Marmia.