Tue Oct 04, 2005 12:08 am
"This Island is surrounded by water!"-News report for a flooding island
I didn't say it that good, but that's how I remember it.
I didn't say it that good, but that's how I remember it.
Tue Oct 04, 2005 2:03 am
Stupidity is NOT a handycap, please park elsewhere. =]
Wed Oct 19, 2005 2:53 am
So Funny
Here's mine:
You can't scare me. I teach.
Come to the darkside. We have cookies!
Thats all I got right now :/
Wed Oct 19, 2005 8:50 am
A button I have somewhere wrote:Invisible cows currently run my life.
I think what I love the most about that one is the undercurrent of optimism -- Invisible cows currently run my life, but I have hope to someday escape their tyranny. . . .
Wed Oct 19, 2005 9:39 pm
"There is always a light at the end of every tunnel. Just pray itsnot a train."
"A friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be there saying,"d@^m that was fun."
"The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude towards the problem. Got that!"
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasnt it."
"I've seen the future and its just like the present only longer."
In the words of Tom Cruise,"There is no such thing asa chemical imbalance."
and last one
"Don't hassle me i'm local."
"A friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be there saying,"d@^m that was fun."
"The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude towards the problem. Got that!"
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasnt it."
"I've seen the future and its just like the present only longer."
In the words of Tom Cruise,"There is no such thing asa chemical imbalance."
and last one
"Don't hassle me i'm local."
Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:19 pm
Okay first one is something that happened in real life and Sir_Isaac my best friend was a part of it.
SI "(my Name blanked out)want something to write on?"
ME "I have a head"
And for quotes that I have heard....
That fabric softner bear...god I swear I'm gonna hunt that little smurf down.
SI "(my Name blanked out)want something to write on?"
ME "I have a head"
And for quotes that I have heard....
That fabric softner bear...god I swear I'm gonna hunt that little smurf down.
Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:37 pm
Funny quotes! You want funny quotes! Opens hornets nest as he goes to his book of favorite quotes.
'You can not be serious.' 'Oh I can be. I just choose not to be... most of the time.' - Ba'al and Gen O'Neill on SG-1
'Oh yes, the clowns. Entire armies pouring out of Volkswagons. We fight them off, but they keep sending them in.' - Col Shepard on Atlantis
'If wishes were horses, we'd all be eating steak.' - Jayne Cobb on Firefly
And one last one, for now.
'Science + beer = good.' Adam Savage on Mythbusters
'You can not be serious.' 'Oh I can be. I just choose not to be... most of the time.' - Ba'al and Gen O'Neill on SG-1
'Oh yes, the clowns. Entire armies pouring out of Volkswagons. We fight them off, but they keep sending them in.' - Col Shepard on Atlantis
'If wishes were horses, we'd all be eating steak.' - Jayne Cobb on Firefly
And one last one, for now.
'Science + beer = good.' Adam Savage on Mythbusters
Sun Jan 22, 2006 10:40 pm
I didn't even know a funny quote topic existed 
Of course half of the quotes I have that are humorous, I probably can't post 
Anyways, here are a couple that I have:
From CNN (I don't remember who they were talking about): "He went on a 4 hour crack smoking binge" (That's just funny 'cos it's from CNN)
A friend of mine once said "I'm beginning to wonder if I really do have a flashing neon sign over my head that says, 'Hey, I love being screwed over...step right up.' "
And another friend of mine said "Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience."
Those are my funny ones for now.
Of course half of the quotes I have that are humorous, I probably can't post
Anyways, here are a couple that I have:
From CNN (I don't remember who they were talking about): "He went on a 4 hour crack smoking binge" (That's just funny 'cos it's from CNN)
A friend of mine once said "I'm beginning to wonder if I really do have a flashing neon sign over my head that says, 'Hey, I love being screwed over...step right up.' "
And another friend of mine said "Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience."
Those are my funny ones for now.
Sun Jan 22, 2006 11:14 pm
mayanspypilot wrote:...
And another friend of mine said "Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience."
Those are my funny ones for now.
That is so unbelievably true. Happens to me all the time with my dad.
Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:37 am
*Grabs Journal of Buffy quotes* Prepare to laugh your.....tooshie off.
"Then talk, keep eye contact, funny is good, but don't be glib, and remember if you hurt her, I will beat you to death will a shovel. [Off Riley's look] A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. [pats him on the shoulder smiling] Have
Fun!!!!" -Willow from buffy season 4 Episode 'Initiative'
"But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums
like you -- hoodlums! Yes, I mean you and your friends, your whole sex, throw 'em all in the sea for all I care, throw 'em in and wait for the bubble. Men with your groping and spitting, all-groin, no-brain three billion of ya passin' arounf the same worn out urge. Men with your... sales" -Buffy
"Timothy Dolton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the head with it." -Andrew
"Then talk, keep eye contact, funny is good, but don't be glib, and remember if you hurt her, I will beat you to death will a shovel. [Off Riley's look] A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. [pats him on the shoulder smiling] Have
Fun!!!!" -Willow from buffy season 4 Episode 'Initiative'
"But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums
like you -- hoodlums! Yes, I mean you and your friends, your whole sex, throw 'em all in the sea for all I care, throw 'em in and wait for the bubble. Men with your groping and spitting, all-groin, no-brain three billion of ya passin' arounf the same worn out urge. Men with your... sales" -Buffy
"Timothy Dolton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the head with it." -Andrew
Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:58 am
'What's the matter, chip? Don't like watching [adult videos] with me?' - Abby on NCIS
'If you like realistic combat action, Iraq is nice this time of year.' - Adam Sessler on X-Play
'You ended that sentence with a preposition. B******.' - Col O'Neill on SG-1
And one last one.
'For 8 down the clue was 'Celestial body,' and he wrote 'Uma Thurman.'' - Maj Carter on SG-1
'If you like realistic combat action, Iraq is nice this time of year.' - Adam Sessler on X-Play
'You ended that sentence with a preposition. B******.' - Col O'Neill on SG-1
And one last one.
'For 8 down the clue was 'Celestial body,' and he wrote 'Uma Thurman.'' - Maj Carter on SG-1
Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:21 am
Me to my friends as they tried to Wax my butt (just. dont ask.)
(look at it sideways...)
Flavour text on a Dragon legend in Magic: The gathering.
"Just you wait until i get home and write in my livejournal about this!"
“(Z–>)90º – (E–N²W)90ºt = 1”
(look at it sideways...)
Flavour text on a Dragon legend in Magic: The gathering.
Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:51 am
A handful of my favorite short away messages.
"If you believe in telekenesis please raise my hand."
"Government Philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it till it is."
"If you're illiterate, you can't read this."
"If AOL was a city:
1) You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name.
2) If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important to us."
3) The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money."
"Harry Potter is at that awkward stage where he's too old for Michael Jackson, but too young for Demi Moore."
And for a little bit of variety:
"As far as I can make out, "edgy" occurs when middlebrow, middle-aged profiteers are looking to suck the energy - not to mention the spending money - out of the "youth culture." So they come up with this fake concept of seeming to be dangerous when every move they make is the result of market research and a corporate master plan. " --Daria
"If you believe in telekenesis please raise my hand."
"Government Philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it till it is."
"If you're illiterate, you can't read this."
"If AOL was a city:
1) You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name.
2) If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important to us."
3) The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money."
"Harry Potter is at that awkward stage where he's too old for Michael Jackson, but too young for Demi Moore."
And for a little bit of variety:
"As far as I can make out, "edgy" occurs when middlebrow, middle-aged profiteers are looking to suck the energy - not to mention the spending money - out of the "youth culture." So they come up with this fake concept of seeming to be dangerous when every move they make is the result of market research and a corporate master plan. " --Daria
Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:28 am
'Best case scenario?' 'I win the Nobel Prize.' 'Worst case scenario?' 'We tear a hole in the fabric of the universe.' - Col Shepard & Dr McKay on Atlantis
'When the pat on the back comes from the cameraman, you know you got it bad.' - Adam Savage on Mythbusters
'It burns with the power of shark.' - Hesh on Sealab 2021
One more?
'Hellooooo, Black Mage.' 'Mrph... Is that you pie?' 'No, silly. It is the woman of your dreams.' '... A woman made entirely of pie?' - White Mage and Black Mage in this 8-Bit Theater
'When the pat on the back comes from the cameraman, you know you got it bad.' - Adam Savage on Mythbusters
'It burns with the power of shark.' - Hesh on Sealab 2021
One more?
'Hellooooo, Black Mage.' 'Mrph... Is that you pie?' 'No, silly. It is the woman of your dreams.' '... A woman made entirely of pie?' - White Mage and Black Mage in this 8-Bit Theater
Tue Jan 24, 2006 6:56 pm
' If you notice this notice, you'll notice this notice is not worth noticing' ~ A notice
'The below statement is false'
'The above statement is true'
'You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same.'
'Playing on the computer is like eating the lemons life gave you'
'What, it fills you with lies, deciet and ANGER???'
Ok, the last one wasn't very funny:P
'The below statement is false'
'The above statement is true'
'You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same.'
'Playing on the computer is like eating the lemons life gave you'
'What, it fills you with lies, deciet and ANGER???'
Ok, the last one wasn't very funny:P