Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
(I bet 1/2 of yall tried that just now
)
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
How come you bake cookies and you cook bacon?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
“I'm an illusion of your heart. A manifestation of your adolescent psyche.” – Haruko, FLCL