Pink Poogle Toy Forum

*pokes thread* What happened? Judging deadline's over already right?

Sock and Lillie, it's an absolute shame that you missed the deadline. I think your stories are excellent!

Sock - Your story is rooted in the modern society, which makes it stand out from the crowd. Your language is very vibrant and your depiction of the fey Faye is absolutely wacky. I liked your dialogue, they are very realistic, and Amanda is a very believable character.

The anticlimactic and abrupt ending here worked well, it was rather unexpected and had me laughing. xD

Downsides - No title. A good story must have a title! Other than that I cannot think of any glaring flaws in your story.
Rating: 9/10

Lillie - Child of the Wind
Absolutely. Beautiful. Your story reads as if it is written by a fairy and you sure do know how to make it sound magical and fairy-talesque. I liked your way with words and detailed and wonderful descriptions. The storyline is enchanting too.

Downside - I think more effort could be put on describing Skye's aging process. It seemed to me that she turned old abruptly and that compromised the impact of the ending slightly, at least for me. Other than that I think your story is perfect. I will be lenient still and give it a perfect score though.
Rating: 10

I'll say it again, it is a shame that two of the best stories for this round came late. Jo, I strongly suggest that you let Sock and Lillie come back into the game. After all, 3 people is too little for a competition anyway.

Jo hasn't been on for the last week. I wonder if she's ill?

Thank you for the ratings, Qanda and everconfused. ^___^

Oh guys I'm so sorry for letting you all down, I'm sick and havent been on for ages... I'm feeling a little better now though and I'm going to put the ratings up now... sorry again

Before I start, thank you again for writing, they were all fantastic stories and I read them to my daughter who loved all of them! You brought wonderful memories back to me of my childhood, and to say that most people were worried about writing a fairy tale, you all did a superb job!


Ratings: (A little short because Im tired)

The three daughters of the king - Wind

A great fairy story with all of the requirements completed. The ending could have used a little more work we felt, and some of it was a tad predictable but apart from that it was very smooth and went at a nice pace.

We liked - The pace, it was well paced and flowed nicely. Your writing, as always it was original and well written.
You should work on - Your endings, it ended a little abruptly and some extra time could have been spent telling us what happened to the witch.

everconfused - 9/10
Qanda - 7.5/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 7/10
o_0 - 7/10
warxelo - 9/10
xjox - 8/10
Total - 47.5/60

Tamm - Twizzler0171
Very original story! We enjoyed reading it and liked the unique way you set about telling your story. Some of the paragraphs seemed a little short and your grammar got a little messed up at times. But, on the whole it was very well written and a lovely story.

We liked - Your originality, it was a lovely story. The general theme, it was nice that you decided to write about fairies and you described Tamm wonderfully.
You should work on - Your descriptions of the side characters, it is nice to have an image of the characters in our heads when we are reading a story.

everconfused - 7/10
Qanda - 7/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 9/10
o_0 - 9/10
warxelo - 10/10
xjox - 8/10
Total - 50/60

The Forest - watericesage
Great story, it moved at a nice pace and was very well written. We loved the characters name and you used good description, it really stood out! The way Humperdink escaped could have been a little more exciting though.

We liked - Your description, Humperdink was a lovely character. Your story on the whole was fun and well written
You should work on - The ending, it could have been fleshed out a little and maybe a little more complicated on how Humperdink escaped.

everconfused - 10/10
Qanda - 7/10
livin_in_the_shadow - 9/10
o_0 - 9/10
warxelo - 10/10
xjox - 9/10
Total - 54/60

That means that wind is eliminated and watericesage wrote the best rated story this round!
Watericesage, your story will be in the next edition of the pink ink.

Congratulations to Twizzler0171 and Watericesage, you have made it to the final, expect it up tomorrow.

Sorry to hear that you are sick xjox. I was wondering what happened to you. Hope you get well soon!

Congratulations watericesage on winning, and sorry Wind for being eliminated, actually I personally felt that your story was the better one out the three.

It still is shame that Sock and Lillie were kicked out though, but I suppose they were given ample time to finish...

Final chapter is now up, good luck to you both!

Yes Qanda it is a shame, I really didn't want to kick them out but I had eliminated 2 people in the previous round because their stories weren't in by the deadline, so it wouldn't have been fair to them if I kept Lillie and Sock in.

Pity, I suppose I should have put a bit more time in it but I just can't hold with fairy tales... I think I'll write something anyway, probably a prequel for the headless guy story or something...

just a reminder that stories are due on friday

Just popping in to say, good luck to the two contestants!

Before I post my story, I would like to thank the judges and all the participants. I feel that doing this has greatly improved my writing, and comparing it to past works (I have managed to find a site where I used to role play... and comparing how I role play now to that... I think I've greatly improved).

I also would like to congratulate WIS for getting this far. He's done a great job, and I am certainly proud of him! ^_^ Congratulations!

I also have my story finished, just waiting until the morning to post it so I can look through it one more time. I wrote most of it from 2 in the morning till 4 in the morning (whoa, that's two hours. o.o; ), so I'm going to wait until I've had some sleep to make sure it makes any sense at all. =)

Again, thank you everyone!

Meep! I'm not at home computer right now, and I PMed Xjox my story instead of posting it on the board. >.>

Would it still be accepted?


Anywho, this writing thing was a lot of fun, (well, sometimes), and I would like to thank the judges for reading my stories and Xjox for starting this wonderful contest.

I'd like to congratulate Twizzler for being in the final round too! ^^ I loved reading some of her stories!

Don't be my Valentine II - Sequal to Wind's Valentines story - Around 1857 words

The bunnies surrounded Will, all staring at her with their emotionless eyes. All but one held a large red heart. The one that did not held a large Valentine’s Card, with Will’s name written clearly on it. Without a sound the bunnies stepped closer together, closer and closer, until there was only a few feet between them and Will.

“Mommy, Mommy…” the bunny with the Valentine’s Card said softly. The other bunnies opened their mouths to say something, but then…

“Mommy! Mommy!” a voice shrieked, and then Will was shaken harshly. “Mommy, please wake up!”

Will woke up with a jerk, her arm flinging out into the air. It waved about a few moments before slamming down on the alarm clock next to her bed. She peeked out sleepily from under the covers, trying to figure out who, exactly, had woken her up.

“You was dweaming about them wabbits again, huh,” the voice said. Her son looked down at her, his face serious. He was frowning slightly, and his deep blue eyes made his nose crinkle as he focused on her.

Will laughed lightly, amused by the look on his face. She nodded, hugging him close to her. She knew he didn’t understand why she feared rabbits, after all, that Valentine’s Day had been long ago. In fact, she usually forgot about it for most of the year. But as the year neared the Fourteenth of February… she started to remember.

She remembered the two years that the Bunnies ruled her Valentines’; making her dance with people she didn’t want to dance with, forcing her to drink gallons upon gallons of fruit punch, giving her Valentine’s cards whenever… and that wonderful day when she and some others rebelled, finally overcoming them with a batch of Papaya Juice.

She shuddered at the very thought of the rabbits, her breath coming out loudly. She frowned, and glanced up at the calendar. February 14. The date jumped out at her like a… well, rabbit. No wonder she had had that horrible nightmare. She shuddered lightly, a chill running down her spine, before turning to her son.

“Come on, then, Luka. Let’s get you ready for school, you’ll have fun today,” she said, smiling. “If you want to, you can wear that maroon sweater we got you for your birthday, would you like that?”

Luka nodded happily. He ran off to his room to grab the sweater, and returned wearing it, a proud look on his face. Will smiled down at him proudly, until she realized that he was wearing it inside out and backwards. She laughed and helped him fix it.

---

“Jenna!” Luka cried out happily, greeting his fellow Kindergartener. With a squeal of delight, he ran up to the girl and hugged her.

“Oh!” Jenna proclaimed, surprised. Her mouth formed the ‘o’ shape for a second or two, then she grinned and hugged Luka back.

Will watched the two, amused. She folded her arms together and leaned against the wall, glancing to her left. A smile formed on her mouth as she saw who her neighbor was. It was Jack, the one that had helped free everyone from the enslavement of the Fluffy Lovely Valentine's Day Squad so many years ago, and had danced with afterwards no less.

“You see that sweater she’s wearing?” Jack asked, trying to start up a conversation. “I got it for her birthday awhile ago, and she wanted to wear it today. It’s pink.”

“I know it’s pink, I’m not color blind… Hm, that’s odd…” Will stated, a confused look coming over her face. “I got the sweater Luka is wearing for his birthday also. Quite ironic, is it not?”

“Yes… yes, it is. Well, I’d better get going. I have work, and can’t be late, you know…” Jack said, nodding. He glanced up at the clock, and frowned. Will looked up also, and nodded in agreement. Both of them turned to leave, however, their paths were blocked by someone they had both hoped they would never see again.

“Not on my watch, you won’t be leaving. Remember me? Of course you do. Who could ever forget me, Marilyn, once again Fluffy Lovely Valentine's Day Squad? You thought it was over with years ago, but I have once again gained control over the bunnies of Valentines Day!” she said, laughing evil. She snapped her fingers once, and immediately the room was surrounded with fluffy bunnies.

Most of the rabbits were white, with ruby red eyes. All of them were larger than average, however, and extra fluffy. The only one that wasn’t white was larger and fluffier than the rest. It was of a copper-brown color, and its eyes were brown. Its face was stern, as it glared down at Will.

“I am Cympathy,” the brown bunny said after a short silence. “And this is my army of rabbits. I’ve heard of you both, Will and Jack. Once you made my people betray M’lady Marilyn, but now we know better. No longer are we held captive to the evils of Papaya Juice! All who drink it shall be executed immediately!”

Luka and Jenna both frowned, looking over at Cympathy with the almost exact same expression. In fact, they looked so much alike; they managed to confuse the rabbit. The confusion was just for a short while, however, and only lasted as long as she was looking over at them, so the momentary advantage they might have had was disrupted.

Already Cympathy was looking over things, shaking her head in disapproval. “No, no… Fruit Punch! Fruit Punch, not apple juice… and no heart shaped cookies, or chocolate?! Have you no shame? Obviously, with us gone, you have lost all idea of what Valentines Day is about. Well, no worries. We can fix that soon enough. Cylence!”

“Yes, sir, lady sir!” one of the larger rabbits said, jumping to attention. She grinned sheepishly as Cympathy glared over at her, and then bowed low.

“Well. Cylence, if you weren’t my great aunt’s favorite cousin, I’d have to punish you. But you are, and I am not, so, you shall not be punished this time.” Cympathy said, frowning slightly before continuing. “Go to Marilyn, and get your orders directly from her. Do you hear me? And try not to mess up, please! We have a whole town we need to work on!”

“First of all, get that horrid Apple Juice out of here. What’s it even doing in this dreaded town anyways? I thought I got rid of it years ago! Come on then, rabbit! Hop to it, now!” Marilyn said, shaking her head sadly. She glared over at Will, a look of disapproval on her face.

Cylence took her order seriously. She hopped dutifully towards the bottle of Welch’s Apple Juice, and held it in her paws. She stared in awe at the drink for a moment, and then started to hop towards the door.

However, this classroom had a lot of tables, chairs, children, and some adults that hadn’t quite gotten to leave, as well as all the other rabbits. And Cylence was a very clumsy bunny, and probably shouldn’t have been trusted with such an important job. In fact, the only reason she had been trusted at all was because she was Cympathy’s great aunt’s favorite cousin, and that in itself is a great position indeed.

However, Cylence didn’t trip over the tables, or the chairs, or the children. She didn’t even trip over the adults or the other rabbits. No, she didn’t trip over those. In the center of the room, there was a crayon. A single crayon, broken and worked down with the wrapper peeled off as five-year-olds will do to a crayon. And it was that single green crayon that made her trip and stumble.

As she fell, the bottle flew out of her hands. As it landed, it split open, and juice splashed everywhere. As an automatic reaction, the rabbits licked their lips (where, miraculously, some of the apple juice had landed) and those that were sitting, stood. However, instead of yelling at Cylence, they started talking out loud in confused voices, wondering what this drink could be that was matched only by Papaya Juice.

After a few moments, Jenna and Luka looked at each other. They both seemed to be thinking the same thing, for both of them at the same time ran towards the cupboards where all the snack items were held. As they had thought, many bottles of juice were stored in side. Grinning, they got those that they could reach, and started passing them out to the rabbits.

As Cympathy got a bottle, she took a deep drink of one. She remained silent for a few moments, and everyone stared at her, waiting for what she would say. Marilyn watched the most carefully of all, for she had lost the bunnies once, and would not lose them again without a fight.

All of a sudden, the rabbit bowed down to Luka and Jenna. Her ears flopped over, and she looked up at them solemnly.

“M’lord, m’lady. You have brought to us the one thing that could take us away from the Lady Marilyn. We pledge our allegiance to you, oh young ones. And as a token of our allegiance, I shall have some of my most trusted,” as Cympathy said this, she coughed lightly, and looked away from Cylence, “Rabbits take Lady Marilyn out of town. They will escort her to where the Jackalopes live, and I assure you, the Jackalopes are not as honorable as us.”

Jenna and Luka giggled, enjoying this all very much. To them it was just a game; they did not understand any of it. It only made them wonder more why their parents were afraid of the rabbits.

Cympathy stood, and turned to Will and Jack. She motioned towards the two children, a look of hopefulness on her face.

“You are their parents, correct?” she asked, then continued without awaiting an answer. “You’ve been offered the chance to care for us once. You refused it then. Please, I beg of you, do not make the decision for your children. We aren’t bad, really, if we have the right caretakers… and if you teach your children right, they will teach us well, too. Please.”

Jack and will looked towards each other, and nodded. Their eyes told their thoughts to each other.

“Cympathy, we will grant your request. We will wait until our children are old enough to make their own decisions before deciding on anything else,” she paused a bit before adding something. “We won’t make any decisions for them.”

Jack nodded in agreement. He then looked towards Will, and opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it once more. He sighed out deeply, but Will knew what he had been trying to say.

“Yes, Jack. Let’s go out to dinner sometime. For um… food, and possibly a dance?” she said, smiling.

“Alright,” Jack said, looking relieved.

“Now this is what Valentine’s Day is supposed to be like,” Cympathy said softly, chuckling as she turned away to look for Luka.

Awake and Alone - Sequel to Kuristaru's story, Dream Horror - 1502 words

As Jessica realized with horror that she had been, indeed, bitten, she felt a presence behind her back… and she turned around… to see the vampire.

He muffled her with his devious cloak before Jessica could let out a scream. Jessica found herself wrapped by strong, but bony arms as the vampire dragged her through a window, and into the night sky.

The sky was moonless, and only a few stars were shown, faintly, through the thick clouds. Jessica dared not to look down, she had always been afraid of heights. She was dragged through the sky like a helpless rag doll. She feared to think where the vampire was taking her.

The vampire was ascending, Jessica felt the cold jab at her like a million invisible needles, and her pajamas offered hardly any protection from the wind.

Jessica could barely hear the vampire chuckle… and then he let go. And Jessica plunged down, down, down…

~*~

Jessica sat up from her bed, panting and then wiping beads of sweat from her forehead. She looked around and saw that she wasn’t falling to her demise, but in fact, in her own bed.

‘It was just a nightmare...’

Her hand quickly flew to the back of her neck, searching frantically with her fingers for the puncture wound… It wasn’t there…

Jessica looked at the electronic clock, 2:30 it flashed, she crept back into her blue, polka-dotted covers, but she could not sleep… Jessica tossed and turned in her bed, thinking about that strangely vivid dream… She was afraid of what awaited her if she went back to sleep, but what could she do?

‘Confront your fears, that’s what Peter would say’

Jessica felt a sting at her eyes at the thought of Peter, even though he had died two years ago, the pain had not yet, not completely anyways, gone away. She couldn’t bear to think about him anymore, so she shook the thought away.

‘I will confront my fear, I will write a horror story, and it will be a damn good one’

And with that thought, Jessica got up, and turned the light on in the living room. The lights flashed a few times before being completely on. Jessica made a mental note to replace the light bulbs later.

Jessica walked into a kitchen, reached for the shelf above her ancient microwave and got a package of coffee. She dumped the ground coffee beans in the coffee maker and left the kitchen.

Jessica sat down on her couch, and got out her note book. She decided to go with the clichéd Haunted House theme.

‘Avery sat alone in her house, watching a soap on the television, munching away at the popcorn she had on her lap. Her parents were away for the weekend, she had the whole house to herself, and she could do anything she wanted… except to throw a party. Avery was content nonetheless, she could stay up as late as she wanted, like she was doing right now. Her favorite soap, (that she rarely got to watch), was on, and the clock was ticking away at 2:30.

During one of the commercials, Avery went for a quick bathroom break, the soda pop she drank a while ago went right through her. Avery had been holding it in, not wanting to miss a single second of her soap.

She had just gotten back from the washroom and before she could settle down back in her couch, she heard a clang in the kitchen. Avery walked to the source of the noise, it seemed that a salt shaker had rolled off the kitchen counter. Avery put the salt shaker back on the counter, she was a bit spooked, but paid little attention to it. She went back and settled in her couch once again, just in time for her soap.

Avery watched as Jim proposed to Enur, and tears filled her dark blue eyes as Enur refused the offer. And then she heard a larger clang in the kitchen…

Avery walked slowly towards the kitchen yet again, reassuring herself inside, she walked in to find that the spice rack had toppled over, many of her mother’s dispensers rolled around on the flat counter. She picked up the dispensers and quickly rushed back to her soap, severally spooked now, and I can only imagine how she felt when she heard the kitchen drawers opening…

Avery spun around, just in time to see all the drawers and cabinets opening, plates, pots, silverware… and knives floated up, and flew towards the living room. Avery let out a sharp scream as a pot nearly gave her a concussion, she ran towards the door, but as she reached for the doorknob…

A knife pierced her through the shoulders.

~*~

Two years later…

Jane walked through her new house, she still couldn’t believe what price she got this at. Isaac looked around the living room with admiration with her wife.
“Wow! I had kind of expected this place to be a crap hole after I buy it!” she said to her husband, “This place looks great!”

Jane took another step inside the house.’

The coffee maker alarmed Jessica, stopping her train of thoughts, she went into the kitchen to switch it off, and poured a fresh cup of coffee for herself into her favorite Christmas mug. Jessica noticed it was a bit cold, so she struck a match and lit the fireplace. Jessica crawled back into her couch, back to her notebook.

‘Isaac looked around the kitchen. “Look at this honey! Look how big this kitchen is! There are many hooks around here so you can hang your moody moods there while cooking.” Isaac joked with his wife, “Huh, what’s this?”

Jane stopped looking in the bathroom to her husband.

“Is that a knife?” Isaac pointed towards a blade tip, barely visible, behind one of the counters that are not attached to the wall.

“Oh honey, you’re right!”

The couple stood there, pondering about the knife, and the decision they had made about buying this house.’

Jessica stopped there, pondering what to write next. Subconsciously, she started biting the eraser of her pencil with her pearly white teeth. When she realized what she was doing, she stopped and spat out the bits of eraser that had embedded itself between her teeth. Jessica had a lot of bad habits, she’d bite her nails, chew on pencils, in fact, her new year’s resolution was to stop these bad habits. She turned her attention back to her story… and then she heard a thud in the kitchen.

Jessica was scared half to death, and went to investigate. It seemed that a package of coffee beans had fallen from her shelves, she picked it up and set it on the counter. Jessica told herself that it was just a coincidence, nothing to worry about. She went back to her couch, and looking behind her one last time before she turned her attention back to the notebook.

“Just a coincidence,” Jessica repeated to herself, “nothing to worry about.”

Then she heard a smash from the kitchen. Jessica was immobilized by fear, she dared not turn around, so she sat with her back to the kitchen for a long time… until the drawers started opening anyways.

Jessica finally turned around to see pots, pans, dishes, silverware and knives rushing in the room, she crouched down and dodged an army of forks, then hurriedly got up and jumped over a saucer aimed for her knees. A knife cut her slightly on the arm, as Jessica reached for her notebook, flinging it in the fireplace, a knife made contact with her skin, drew blood, and fell… as the notebook was being devoured by the hungry flames.

Everything that was once flying suddenly stopped in mid-air, stopping, before falling down and making a terrible racket. She looked at the mess in her apartment. She was scared…

“If only you were still here Peter…” whispered Jessica, “If only you can protect me.”

These words Jessica repeated as she found a first aid kit and washed out the wounds with rubbing alcohol, Jessica winced slightly at the pain. She bandaged herself around the arm and the back, still shaken up, she sat down at the couch and looked in disbelieve at the various kitchenware scattered across her living room.

Jessica pinched herself, and again, then again, and when she was finally convinced it wasn’t a dream. She started to clean up the mess, gathering the spoons and forks on the ground. It took her quite a while to finish, and her back throbbed every time she bent down. It took a while, but she got it done.

Jessica looked at the clock on her wall, the time was just before four. She looked outside a window and saw a glimpse of the sun coming up. So she went to her balcony, leaned on the railing and watched as the sun slowly made its way above the clouds.

Twizzler for President!
I sooo love your sequel!

Wow, great job guys! This is gonna be a tough one for us to judge.

I'm just waiting for 2 more reviews, so take a breath and give yourselves a pat on the back for getting this far!

I know xjox is not finished with reviews yet. No, I do not know who the winner is and I couldn't tell you if I did know!

I did want to post this though.

I would like to take the opportunity to thank each and every one of you for entering, for your obvious hard work and wonderful stories. Each of you, in my opinion, is a winner. There is so much talent, energy and imagination in this group!

Good luck to you both and congratulations to making it to the final 2!