Pink Poogle Toy Forum

The official community of Pink Poogle Toy
Main Site
NeoDex
It is currently Thu Dec 26, 2024 1:25 am

All times are UTC




Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: A Matter Adjourned (A Poem.)
PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:59 pm 
PPT Baby
PPT Baby
User avatar

Posts: 98
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 9:32 am
Location: Avatar by Fzun!
Such a matter was adjourned,
A new law brought to mankind
The people had decided now
And prepared a state of mind

The arms, they were raised in agreement
And such a court was brought to order
Attention-spans directed unto the jury
A decision was to be made, not to wait longer

Eyes were widened and ears quite open
And wandering minds were stopped cold
Terror had stricken the U.S.A.
Bringing down spirits of the brave and the bold

As those two towers fell
Tears were brought forth
And smoke clogged the air
Work was cut short

The children, they didn't truely know
Tears, they had fallen, and brought sad hearts
And fathers and mothers, sisters, brothers
Aunts and uncles, families broken apart

Airports grew stricter, and baggage was held
Taken through metal detectors and searched into
Many considered it unfair, cause was not theirs
The government had decided, there was more to do

The President thought, such a large problem
What to do, a world of destruction, such terror brought
And what was their cause, blunt humor, a fulfilling task?
The armies set forth; none would become distraught

The time, it had come, and a war, it began
Running through deserts, carrying guns and ammunition
Hiding in dunes and searching out buildings
The soldiers couldn't stop; t'was a set proposition

The battle raged on while the search carried still
Privates were wounded and taken as captives
Starved and kept locked behind steel bars
Given nothing, improper food and far smaller rations

Yet our soldiers still seeked, looking for the enemy
The fight sought onward, tanks and bombs had been threatened
Although Sir Bin Laden had told us of the backup
The Marines and the Army looked on for their weapons

Soon, we had succeeded, we'd brought down the test
Taken Hussein into captive and running off all the rest
Though Bin Laden in hiding, none can be told
Might he be alive or dead, one wouldn't know

The soldiers remain there, camping through cold nights
Worrying parents and loved ones
A large step was taken, the court had decided
But a search carried on; they were still on the run

To this day we don't know where the terrors might be
Locked inside a chamber, hidden within a home
None to know of the frights and nightmares it could cause
For they are still out there, free in streets to roam

The best decision was made by the court
And brought into action by George W. Bush
At our previous election, many thought agaisnt him
But our President, he deserves all he is worth.


This is for a contest that my Language Arts teacher wants me to be in. It took me about ten minutes in total. The topic of the contest has to be 'We The People,' 'The Jury,' 'The Court.' I decided to write about 9/11, and our 'World War III.' I guess it kind of sucks, so critique it and stuff.


Shrew's Set Contest! Win up to 50k! Everyone gets a prize!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 12:30 am 
PPT God
PPT God
User avatar

Posts: 1003
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2004 5:22 pm
Location: Tenterhooks
I really like it, but something tells me it'll really tick off the other side. Be more vague about the president, and a few other hot-button specifics, it'll look less propagandy.


Do what you will; but I will hinder it if I may.

-- Eowyn of the Mark


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 5:14 am 
PPT Student
PPT Student
User avatar

Posts: 264
Joined: Thu Jun 10, 2004 4:02 am
Location: In the chocolate swimming pool
Okay, remember this creed. Brevity is the soul of "anything". Try to use as few stanzas to describe the event as possible, unless you are trying to make it stick in the mind of the people, in which case you use adjectives in abundance and have a word that is often repeated. For instance, in this one, you might use war or pain or bravery

Another thing is: use meter! This is not stressed enough to poets nowadays. It is a great thing to be able to write free verse, but frst you need to use a structure - a backbone for your poem. This being a forboding and trajic poem, I would use a trochaic or anapestic verse if you are an acceptable poet, dactylic if you are an excellent poet, or iambic if you are a beginner. Also make sure you have a set number of syllables per line. This will give it that rolling feel that the great poets have.

Last of all: practice. Write a poem a week, or, if you enjoy poetry, try one a day. Soon, the words will pour out of you like mulled wine from a decanter.


BTW, great topic and rhyme, though you may want to make the rhymes less forced. And leaving people unnamed does a lot to add to the beauty of a poem.

EDIT: where is that contest? I would love to enter.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group