The Darkest Faerie: Source of all Evil
Yes, you heard it here first, the darkest
faerie is behind all evil in Neopia. Except for the
Cantaloupes, who are a secret rebellion force. Actually, you heard nothing of the
Cantaloupes. Seriously. Ever. Carry on.
How is it that the darkest
faerie, or her real name, Mark, can be the source of all evil in
Neopia with no exceptions?
Well, it all started one stormy night, when Adam Powell was drinking too much Asparagus Corona, and
accidentally let loose two of his secret projects; the first neopet ever, Dr. Sloth. Since Adam is a famed asparangotologist, he lives on his own asparagus planet. Because of his inability to escape due to space, Dr. Sloth forever hated space, and so attempted to conquer it to dissolve his fears of it coming to destroy him, and call him names.
So then, he escaped and crash landed on
Neopia, Sloth created his bunker/lab, and hid there for years working on the perfect
Minestrone Soup
recipe. Eventually, Adam left his asparagus planet, met up with long time girlfriend Donna, and came to neopia, and created neopets with his magical potion of wootness. Yes, wootness.
Neopets were born.
And then Dr. Sloth came out, and found the deserted planet to be filled with magical sun-spun
Unis, where Glade Riders are the most heavy cavalry ever. Anyways, so he found the Darkest Faerie, who came back in time to stop Fyora from imprisoning her [or at least to get someone to free her afterwards] and she gave him magical powers. Oooo, aaaah. So he used them to travel to Kreludor, and decided to strike down the neopets, mutate them, and create his own empire of mutant creatures, to conquer the universe. But he needed an army to do that, so he started exploring space.
Alright, so afterwards, Neopia expanded, as the neopets grew more
numerous, and were able to set sail, discovering many new regions, like
Mystery Island, and
Faerieland. During this time, Dr. Sloth found the Grundo planet, enslaved the inhabitants, and set course to Kreludor, Neopia's moon, and used his magic powers to create the space station, where he led his first assault on Neopia, aided by Mark, but
unfortunately, the Space Faerie was three and a quarter steps ahead of them, and defeated them with the help of the neopians.
Sloth returned to Kreludor, to plan another assault.
Then, Neopians found the secret city of Maraqua. Mark was incarcerated underwater outside of Maraqua, and so planned this to get some curious neopets to liberate her. Just before this, she had sent an expedition of possessed neopets to search Neopia for her, being guided by a box of rainbow jelly.
I'm pretty sure most of you are very confused about Mark's appearances. Let me explain. She teleported back in time, to make sure someone will find her years later, when Fyora figures out what she did in Altador, and will incarcerate her. A while after she was first incarcerated by King Altador, she broke free, and so found a spell that could send a copy of herself, no matter where she is, back in time to Neopia, to attempt to create a plan to liberate herself, or to get someone to do it for her. As a result, Mark will soon be freed from Fyora, and her past self has already
disappeared [the one who went back in time] to return the timeline linear. We don't want hundreds of Marks running about through time, now do we?
During the Maraquan plot, if Mark hadn't gotten Sloth to build Mechachiabot 2.1, she would have remained undiscovered, as no one left the city vicinity. So Sloth invaded, and attempted to seize control, but Chiazilla was almost able to destroy Mark's place of
incarceration, ruining all her plans, as she'd have to restart and remember where her new prison is. So she told Sloth to flee, as to get Chiazilla to leave the vicinity. Of course, you're thinking, why would Sloth ever forfeit? Well, let's just say Sloth likes his faeries very evil
The Tyrannian invasion was due to Mark's fear that the huge amount of Neopians
traveling to Maraqua would cause
expansion onto her hideout, causing her to be discovered, and the fabric of Time, Space, and MacClean to be destroyed. Thus, she led an assault on Tyrannia with the Monoceraptor.
Unfortunately, she forgot that the forces of the Monoceraptor were afraid of Tomatoes, and so eventually lost to the Tyrannians. [Who, by the way, still celebrate their victory to this day
.]
The Lucky Coin was one of Mark's prized possessions, and she couldn't let it
disappear, not even after some smelly Bruce decided it was his. She sent Sloth straight away to go get it back, and remarkably he succeeded, and even was able to open an ancient tomb, and gain access to one of the most
powerful artifacts in Neopia. The coin was lost
unfortunately, and in her rage Mark killed the last of Dr. Sloth's invaders, and killed Coltzan himself. [Her spokesman says that was due to a misfiring lab ray however] She was able to frame someone else though, and remained hidden. After the murder, Markus Vile decided to steal the crown. Mark thought this would bring more people to the lost desert, which is never a bad thing, and so let it go on. The Meerca brothers by the way, really
made her angry, stealing her copy of Tootie Pang, and so she turned them into dung meercas, who love to steal because they can't afford their New Army pants that they love so much, being too
illiterate to get jobs, and so they steal anything shiny, even the heads of bald men.
The Maraquan Curse was caused by the backfiring of the recent crown stealing, which sent more tourists into Maraqua, hoping to cool off after their long excursion in the blistering hot desert. Mark just couldn't have that, and so cursed the crops of Maraqua, and then that allowed the Pirates lead by Cap'n Dread to level Maraqua, and turn it into a huge whirlpool, leaving Mark a perfect hideout.
During the Meridell plot, Mark decided that it was time for someone to get going on trying to find her incarcerated self, and so helped clear out the whirlpool. She found out that her first expedition team halted at Meridell, and that the last survivor became king of Meridell. None other than King Skarl was helping Mark! That
wonderful orb that Darigan had collected, Skarl thought it was the legendary treasure that Mark sent him on a quest to find. [The actually "treasure" by the way, was the last clue to her incarceration, Markie Jr., who sits near the fishing cove]
And in natural
illiterateness, Skarl and his finest men went to Darigan, and attacked, stole the orb, and fled back to Meridell. Skarl misplaced the box of rainbow jelly, and was unable to confirm if it was the treasure, until after the war had ended. Darigan thumped them for stealing it, and then later led an assault, defeat Skarl, took the orb back, and went to Darigan.
Unfortunately, it broke, and as no one had any super glue, Mark was able to destroy it completely, and send Skarl back on the quest.
Unfortunately, this caused King Darigan to go marry a Meri Acres farm worker, and only return after Kass attacked Meridell himself and failed.
So Mark sent Skarl back to finish the quest, but instead, he sent some of his soldiers, who happened to be from a very far away land. They set sail, in the ship known as the Cyodrake's Gaze. During that time, Mark had a bad cold, and so coughed so hard she awoke a large monster in the mystery island volcano. Queue Mystery Island plot.
Afterwards, someone had discovered that Maraqua was rebuilt, and once the pirates found out, they headed back to destroy them for never having paid their dues. Maraqua decided to take a stand, and was victorious, repelling the pirates, who were also henchmen of Mark. This meant that Maraqua would still be accessible, and would guarantee less visits, as neopians feared another pirate attack on the region.
So we're nearing the end of our adventure now, when Mark warps
Sakhmet to another dimension, as Prince Jazan and Amira's wedding would have disrupted her plan. Plus, she always though Jazan loved her more. So she created all sorts of puzzles to thwart their recovery, but
unfortunately she asked the
Leprechauns to do it, and so her plan failed miserably, and
Sakhmet was returned, but not before she possessed the ancient king of Quasala to come and try to level
Sakhmet .
Unfortunately, he had Boneitus, and died.
Unfortunately, for Mark at least, Fyora discovered the resting place of Altador, and was very curious about how
its history unfolded. So she opened the warp hole, and hoped that someone would figure it out. [The Queen was never any good at puzzles] Some neopians
finally figured it out, and Queen Fyora Incarcerated Mark, but it would be to no avail; the Cyodrake's Gaze had already set sail, and had a clear view of where she was, and how to free her. By the way, at this point in time all of the Marks had been tied together as one once more, and were incarcerated.
Unfortunately,
Hoban thought the treasure to be gold [as everyone else thought] and so pretended to jump ship during a storm to get the crew to stop at the nearest isle [which happened to be Krawk Island, famous for the Krawks that Mark brought from Tyrannia. Also,
there are pirates. Lots of 'em.] so that he could escape with his rubber duck, and go find the treasure himself. But his undying love for Edna led him to the Haunted Woods, where he married her, and became the Esophagor. Due to holes in Neopian Space-Time, once
Hoban left Krawk Island, he was warped to a time before the Haunted Woods were discovered, and by the time he became the Esophagor, it was
explored for the first time.
The Cyodrake's Gaze is now touring the world, and at the time of writing, has docked and left the Lost Desert. It is unknown where its next stop shall be, though many
believe that they shall return to their homeland, wherever that may be, and not continue the quest. Of course, the Darkest Faerie will simply get someone else to continue it in their place, to
finally free her.
It is
rumored that the Hannah and the Ice Caves plot was launched by Dr. Sloth as a diversion to let him
amass an army that would allow him to assault Neopia one last time, and free the Darkest Faerie.
And there you have it, the explanations behind all of Neopia's greatest adventures, and how the Darkest Faerie truly is the orchestrator of Evil in Neopets.
Make sure to get
your lucky shirts out.
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Thanks for having read this
I hope you enjoyed my take on Neopia's plots.
If you have any comments, feel free to drop me a neomail.
PS: This was first posted by me, Jorophose [I have lost access to my old neopets account however
] on the Pink Poogle Toy forums. I am both Sleijo and Jorophose, though I usually go for the second username. So this was not stolen, this is my work.
It's my first attempt at a NT article, and if I've missed anything, feel free to let me know.