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Plan A and Plan B (English lesson)
*prays no one I know of in my class will read this*
OK, you will need some background knowledge for this.
Our English teacher is called Mr Stamp and well, he can be counted as a mean, strict but a good teacher. Depends what your meaning of "good" is. Anyway, we were watching a video, a hollywood-ised version of Great Expectations that has a really crap ending, but that doesn't matter. It was pretty boring and everyone was bored (wow -_-). There were 3 people sitting next to Mr Stamp; Wilson, Ian and Mark. Wilson and Ian are the people who work, unlike Mark who was (and still is) labelled a "freak" and a "monkey" by our English teacher. They were all so bored and so Mark took some scrap paper and started a plan. Er...two plans. Mr Stamp discovered and read the plans and here was what he said, "Mark, I"ll give you 10 minutes before the lesson to explain plan A and plan B." Thus, Mark had to explain.

Plan A
Mark: equipped with duct tape
Ian: equipped with sledge hammer and a bag
Wilson: equipped with nothing; asleep watching the video.
Ian bashes Mr Stamp with the sledge hammer and Mark duct tapes Mr Stamp. And while Mark is duct taping, Ian rescues Wilson out of the room. The bashed up and duct taped Mr Stamp is then put into a bag and shipped to Detroit.

Plan B
Mark: equipped with duct tape
Ian: equipped with sledge hammer and a bag
Wilson: equipped with nothing; is awake.
This time, the "take Wilson out" (i.e. kill him) because they decided Wilson is on Mr Stamp's side. After that, they duct tape Mr Stamp, bashes him with sledge hammer and put him in a bag. And of course, ship him to Detroit.

I have no idea how he came up with this, it would be funnier if well, you were THERE listening to Mark explaining it. :D Oh well, better than nothing ;]

Lame IT joke
Ok, background knowledge, it's not good to type with underlining, it may be considered a "sin". It is to our IT teachers...therefore, Mr Brown (the really bad IT teacher who doesn't know what he's doing) made up a "joke":
If you all are not bold, I'll put you in italics!
The things is, that's not the funny part. the funny part is when no one laughed and everyone just stared at him like he was crazy...only the other IT teacher laughed. *coughs*

Not funny, I guess you had to be there.

Fiddedit: I don't think getting striked for rudeness is a real knee-slapper, either. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.

I found it amusing. What punishment did our friend Mark end up with?

Nope, he didn't get punished, pity. It was nearly the end of year, and Mr Stamp was in a good mood, so I guess he was lucky.

And I guess it's hard to find it funny here...you just have to meet my English class

i think that must be a location joke... i was all set for a punchline but got nothing. good story though, although not technically a joke for me.

no, i have to admit, it's just something I find amusing at that time (our whole class laughed so much), not a joke but well...it's just...*argh* *runs out of words*

Is funny!

It very much reminds me of my friends Danny and Nick (except they are usually not so violent).

XD! I laughed^^

That is so like my language arts class it's not even funny...Oh wait! Yes it is!

That made my day. Thanks!

lol I'm glad it was that funny

There was another time when Mark suddenly bursted out in class, "Mr Stamp! Jason's got a spoon collection! He has 30 of them!"

Mind you, it was peaceful and quiet and then suddenly everyone laughed. After that, Jason went around and asked people to buy plastic spoons. Nonetheless, I was asked 5 times. I just said I can live on metal spoons That actually led onto when he signed my Explorer (the year book thing). He said I'm weird because I didn't buy any spoons from him.

the reaction: whatEVERRRR XD

mmmm..spoons!

Now why woul someone to collect spoons? Forks are cooler.

Haha, I'll tell him that when I get back to school.

Meanwhile, he's still fussing about his broken air-con...he called a piano tuner to fix it XD *sigh* Jason the weirdo. He asked me like 8 times and asked if I know any technician...well duh, I said no. The whole a/c thing is weird, I'll try typing it all out sometime later (haha maybe you don't want to know).

I'm so lost here...

i used to collect plastic sporks...sporks are SO COOL!

OMG, SPORKS ARE THE COOLEST!!!!!!! I LOVE SPORKS! THEY ROCK!!!

*Clears throat* Anyway, funny story, I liked it. Lol. Sounds like a few people I know. lol. It made me laugh.