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Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 6 posts ] 
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 Post subject: :o Classified Ads
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 4:07 am 
PPT God
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Joined: Mon May 31, 2004 12:28 pm
Location: High-security asylum cell.
Blundered Classifieds (Part I)

1. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

2. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

3. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

4. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

5. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

Oddball Classified Ads (Part II)

6. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

7. Dog for sale: eats anything and is especially fond of children.

8. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

9. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

10. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

More Mangled Classifieds (Part III)

11. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.

Automatically burns toast.

12. Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

13. Stock up and save. Limit: one.

14. For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.

15. Man, honest. Will take anything.

And Finally, Flubbed Up Classified Ads (Part IV)

16. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

17. Illiterate? Write today for free help.

18. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

19. 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

20. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 4:12 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2005 4:54 pm
Location: If I knew, it would feel like Christmas.
Omg. That is FUNNY. :roflol:


Verizon Wireless, we never stop working for yo- "Oh donut break!" {c}


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 Post subject: Re: :o Classified Ads
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 10:44 am 
PPT Toddler
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Posts: 190
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 6:50 pm
Location: Alaska, USA
_jade_em_ wrote:
Blundered Classifieds (Part I)

1. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

7. Dog for sale: eats anything and is especially fond of children.

8. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

11. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.

Automatically burns toast.

13. Stock up and save. Limit: one.

15. Man, honest. Will take anything.

16. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

17. Illiterate? Write today for free help.

19. 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

20. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.


LOL i got a chuckle or a laugh out of these ones!


<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v121/camprules/Buddy4u%20stuff/FOB.jpg">

Its Not That Great...so I wouldn't steal it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 2:08 pm 
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Location: Idiotville
My favorite classified of all time is "For Sale: Refrigerator. Wife was frigid enough."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2005 10:08 pm 
Newbie
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Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:05 am
Location: Springfield, New York
ROFL! My favorite was the children $2.00 one! And the stock up and save, limit one. In a flyer that I once saw it said "4 for $5.00. Limit 2".


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I made my set, I am proud!


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 Post subject: Re: :o Classified Ads
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2005 11:12 pm 
PPT Student
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Posts: 449
Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 6:49 pm
Location: Germany
_jade_em_ wrote:
Blundered Classifieds (Part I)

1. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

2. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

3. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

4. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

5. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

Oddball Classified Ads (Part II)

6. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

7. Dog for sale: eats anything and is especially fond of children.

8. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

9. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

10. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

More Mangled Classifieds (Part III)

11. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.

Automatically burns toast.

12. Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

13. Stock up and save. Limit: one.

14. For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.

15. Man, honest. Will take anything.

And Finally, Flubbed Up Classified Ads (Part IV)

16. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

17. Illiterate? Write today for free help.

18. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

19. 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

20. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

LOL :roflol: every so often really jay leno does these


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