A mothers Letter....
Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:43 pm
I wonder if anyone else remembers this joke, it did the rounds a couple of years back, but I love it! I think it has changed slightly but I cant seem to find the original...
Dear Son:
Just a few lines to let you know that I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know that you cannot read fast. You won't know the house when you come home. . . we've moved.
About your father. . . He has a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in, but it wasn't working too good. Last week I put 14 shirts into it, pulled the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since.
Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or girl, so I don't know whether you're an aunt or uncle.
Your Uncle smurf drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in a Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates dived in to save him, but he fought them off bravely. We cremated his body, and it took three days to put out the fire.
Your father didn't have much to drink at Christmas. I put a bottle of castor oil in his pint of beer. That kept him going till New Years day.
I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube into my mouth and told me not to open it for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.
It only rained twice last week. First for 3 days, and then for 4 days. Monday it was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times.
We had a letter yesterday from the undertaker. He said if the last installment wasn't paid on your grandmother within 7 days; up she comes.
Your Loving Mother,
P. S. I was going to send you £10.00 but I had already sealed the envelope.
Dear Son:
Just a few lines to let you know that I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know that you cannot read fast. You won't know the house when you come home. . . we've moved.
About your father. . . He has a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in, but it wasn't working too good. Last week I put 14 shirts into it, pulled the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since.
Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or girl, so I don't know whether you're an aunt or uncle.
Your Uncle smurf drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in a Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates dived in to save him, but he fought them off bravely. We cremated his body, and it took three days to put out the fire.
Your father didn't have much to drink at Christmas. I put a bottle of castor oil in his pint of beer. That kept him going till New Years day.
I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube into my mouth and told me not to open it for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.
It only rained twice last week. First for 3 days, and then for 4 days. Monday it was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times.
We had a letter yesterday from the undertaker. He said if the last installment wasn't paid on your grandmother within 7 days; up she comes.
Your Loving Mother,
P. S. I was going to send you £10.00 but I had already sealed the envelope.
Tue Oct 19, 2004 12:37 am
LOL!
P. S. I was going to send you £10.00 but I had already sealed the envelope.
XD, how smart!
Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:02 pm
That got a giggle out of me. Its quite funny.
Fri Oct 22, 2004 11:21 pm
that was so sad....I hope my mom never does that to me, I'd have disown myself....I does sound familiar though
Sat Oct 23, 2004 12:37 pm
The poor kid
Sat Oct 23, 2004 1:35 pm
That was funny 
Is she refering to a toilet? How can someone put 14 shirts in a toilet, let alone flush them...
There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in, but it wasn't working too good. Last week I put 14 shirts into it, pulled the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since.
Is she refering to a toilet? How can someone put 14 shirts in a toilet, let alone flush them...
Re: A mothers Letter....
Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:31 pm
xjox wrote:Monday it was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times.
*chuckle* Ah, that bit made me laugh.
That is rather amusing. Bravo!
Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:10 am
haha XDDD that's hilarious!^^* Man, if my mom ever did that, o.O; I'd send her to the hospital. There is NO way that SHE would be like that *shudders at the thought* hahaha
that's hilarious!^^* Man, if my mom ever did that, o.O; I'd send her to the hospital. There is NO way that SHE would be like that *shudders at the thought* hahaha
Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:24 am
lol that was pretty good. I gotta few laughs out of that.
Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:29 pm
Heh, those are good, especially the Post Script
Re: A mothers Letter....
Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:46 pm
xjox wrote:There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in, but it wasn't working too good. Last week I put 14 shirts into it, pulled the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since.
Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:40 pm
lol i loved the hole thing that was really clever 
Tue Oct 26, 2004 10:12 pm
We had a letter yesterday from the undertaker. He said if the last installment wasn't paid on your grandmother within 7 days; up she comes.
I thought the undertaker was the father.
About your father. . . He has a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.