Grammar: Don't do what Donny Don't Does
Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:21 am
1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
8. Be more or less specific.
9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
29. Puns are for children, not for groan readers.
30. Go all around the houses to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. and most importantly...
34. Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
8. Be more or less specific.
9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
29. Puns are for children, not for groan readers.
30. Go all around the houses to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. and most importantly...
34. Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.
Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:27 am
That was great! I didn't know there were so many rules. 
How long did it take you to come up with all of them?
Thu Aug 26, 2004 2:11 am
I've heard some of them before. Those are just genius!
Thu Aug 26, 2004 4:47 am
What could wrong with leaving words out?
Thu Aug 26, 2004 8:27 am
LOL
Verry funny!LOL
Verry funny!LOL
Thu Aug 26, 2004 9:12 am
Haha they're really clever XD
Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:49 pm
That is exactly like my Latin teacher. xD
Fri Aug 27, 2004 2:47 pm
The Rev. knows most of these.
*cough*
*cough*
Wed Sep 01, 2004 11:43 am
That was magnificent. Great. 
Thu Sep 02, 2004 5:19 am
How did you come up with them?
Thu Sep 02, 2004 9:48 am
Hehe, they were funny. ^^ Good job.
Sat Sep 04, 2004 1:34 pm
Those were awesome!
Sat Sep 04, 2004 4:22 pm
Wow! I wonder how long it took you to get all of those XD
Sat Sep 04, 2004 4:34 pm
That must have taken a while. Worth it though
Sun Sep 05, 2004 7:43 am
Twitchy wrote:How did you come up with them?
I've seen that list on the back of a magazine before. I think they can be easily found on the Internet.