100th Post (Warning-Hilarity Inside)
Wed Aug 04, 2004 7:48 pm
Since this will be the 100th post in the Jokes Board, I've decided to make it a worthwhile one. A collection of some of the funniest things on the internet. If you have something funny that you think this thread all the more worthwhile, pitch in.
First, let us begin with the history of the internet...
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy.
A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "we need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO", said Abraham. And that is how it all began, It wasn't Al Gore after all.
Now that we have all been wisened up by this truthful tale, let us begin with the videos.
Random
Dork Vs. Glass- To warm up the diaphragm, here is a 20 second clip of what happens when an innocent civillian forgets to put on his contacts.
Spelling Bee Mishap- Miraculously, he ends up spelling the word right.
Something Wrong With This Picture- This guys reaction is priceless.
Talent
Piano Man- This man is amazing. He plays the piano with...well...you'll see.
Magic- This is just too cool.
Horns- A guy playing the horns with his body. Uberly awesome.
If you feel you must, please, add on with your own funny videos.
First, let us begin with the history of the internet...
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy.
A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "we need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO", said Abraham. And that is how it all began, It wasn't Al Gore after all.
Now that we have all been wisened up by this truthful tale, let us begin with the videos.
Random
Dork Vs. Glass- To warm up the diaphragm, here is a 20 second clip of what happens when an innocent civillian forgets to put on his contacts.
Spelling Bee Mishap- Miraculously, he ends up spelling the word right.
Something Wrong With This Picture- This guys reaction is priceless.
Talent
Piano Man- This man is amazing. He plays the piano with...well...you'll see.
Magic- This is just too cool.
Horns- A guy playing the horns with his body. Uberly awesome.
If you feel you must, please, add on with your own funny videos.
Wed Aug 04, 2004 9:35 pm
I know some, but they're a little inappropriate for the board.
Wed Aug 04, 2004 10:39 pm
They were all great, well except for the magic one, I think. But then again, I'm a bit spoiled, I met this kid who's practically as good as David Blaine, but he's even funnier (he only does tricks, "for da laydees") and he doesn't try to starve himself or whatever it was every one was complaining about David Blaine for.
Re: 100th Post (Warning-Hilarity Inside)
Thu Aug 05, 2004 1:59 am
Drama Queen wrote:Dork Vs. Glass
lol!!! This was funny!
Drama Queen wrote:Piano Man
Whoa.
That is amazing!
Thu Aug 05, 2004 4:33 am
I like the horn guy XD He's so COOL. Fwa haha, if only he played the famous pieces for longer instead of the other ones XD
Thu Aug 05, 2004 10:37 pm
that piano guy, i don't think it's real. he plays a note somewhere on the left side, and then the next tone is only one note higher and he suddenly plays on the other side...
i don't know, but i could have sworn that was not right... [braggggg]i usually get in 90% in the music school xD[/braggggg]
i don't know, but i could have sworn that was not right... [braggggg]i usually get in 90% in the music school xD[/braggggg]
Fri Aug 06, 2004 1:02 am
Actually, I always liked the Umbilical Brothers.
Fri Aug 06, 2004 2:32 pm
Here's a video that screams "TALENT!!!"
http://216.144.230.196/Videos/Medium_WMP8/Maestro.wmv
And for randomness:
http://216.144.230.196/Videos/Medium_WM ... cher_2.wmv
Hilarious.
Happy 100 Joke Posts!
http://216.144.230.196/Videos/Medium_WMP8/Maestro.wmv
And for randomness:
http://216.144.230.196/Videos/Medium_WM ... cher_2.wmv
Hilarious.
Happy 100 Joke Posts!
Sun Aug 08, 2004 8:03 pm
Jens wrote:that piano guy, i don't think it's real. he plays a note somewhere on the left side, and then the next tone is only one note higher and he suddenly plays on the other side...
i don't know, but i could have sworn that was not right... [braggggg]i usually get in 90% in the music school xD[/braggggg]
Actually on a piano the keys order is generally CDEFGABCDEFGABC
so that can happen
Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:02 pm
Last watched the piano guy about 5 or 6 years ago... IIRC, that show was part of the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal... It was shown on TV stations in Singapore then... =)
Saw the fainting kid on David Letterman a month or 2 ago... He eventually came in second place!
Happy 100th posts!
Saw the fainting kid on David Letterman a month or 2 ago... He eventually came in second place!
Happy 100th posts!