*snort*
That's some quality science there!
"Twinkies actually burn quite nicely once they are dried out. "
"After careful study of all responses, we determined that subject A was the Twinkie, and B was the human."
"Twinkies sure taste good for something that is 68% air."
"If you put your Twinkie in water, don't plan on eating it."
"After each test, the control Twinkie was consumed to ensure that it would not be inadvertantly used in in another experiment. "