Quote:
I have an extreme fear of developing "real" friendships or getting close to anyone. Because of this, I've never gone out with anyone, and I have very few friends (in real life). I always think that no matter when I go, everyone will find a reason to hate me or a way that I annoy them. Because of this, I never really have the initiative to make new friends in fear of doing something that will screw my life up any more. I rarely leave the house, and if I do, it has to be something important or something I can do later to extend my time inside. I constantly go into my room and lie there, listening to music, alone. From about kindergarten to 4th grade, I was the poor, ugly, scummy-looking fat kid that no one wanted to be around or talk to. Even though I'm doing better now, thoughts like that will never really escape my mind. Even on these forums, while people try their best to befriend me, I make sure not to make it into something too big as in the back of my mind, I know I'm going to do something that's going to end up in them not wanting to talk to me any more. On top of that, affection is a big problem. It would be very rarely to hear me say something like "I love you", because personally, I was never told that and it even the mentioning of it makes me uneasy. For that reason, I have no close friends, and my family is
no closer. I wonder, if I were to be injured or possibly even worse were to happen to me, would anyone really even care? I live with that question much too often.
I just want to give that person a hug!
Set=Kitten Medli
Adam+Liz=<3
Liz: Well. That proves how good everyone's memories are.
Me: Well I have no memor........What did you just say?