Bad Year
Sun Jan 02, 2005 6:09 am
Well, as we ring in the "New Year" we leave 2004 behind.
But will 2005 be much better for me? I think not.
In 2004 :
FOUR of my friends passed away. Two in front of my eyes. I volunteer at the hospital where my parents work - and my friend who had aids just....left us so suddenly, and another two of them from car accident related injuries. The last one is just too horrible for words.
Now, in 2005 my parents are leaving me for a whole TWO months now, originally 1 month planned, to go to Sri Lanka, Indonesia, and Thailand to help my grandpa with relief efforts. My dad is a Hematologist (blood) and my mom is a pediatrician...so im glad they can help the people who need it most. I just feel that sometimes, I don't feel like life is worth living anymore, you know what I mean?
But will 2005 be much better for me? I think not.
In 2004 :
FOUR of my friends passed away. Two in front of my eyes. I volunteer at the hospital where my parents work - and my friend who had aids just....left us so suddenly, and another two of them from car accident related injuries. The last one is just too horrible for words.
Now, in 2005 my parents are leaving me for a whole TWO months now, originally 1 month planned, to go to Sri Lanka, Indonesia, and Thailand to help my grandpa with relief efforts. My dad is a Hematologist (blood) and my mom is a pediatrician...so im glad they can help the people who need it most. I just feel that sometimes, I don't feel like life is worth living anymore, you know what I mean?
Sun Jan 02, 2005 6:19 am
Friends pass away... that is an sad but inevitable fact of life. Soon you will learn to get over it and make new friends.
As for your parents leaving for two months, that not as much of a big deal as you may think it is. Staying alone gives you a lot of freedom.
How old are you anyway? Is there anyone looking after you when they are gone? 
As for your parents leaving for two months, that not as much of a big deal as you may think it is. Staying alone gives you a lot of freedom.
How old are you anyway? Is there anyone looking after you when they are gone?
Sun Jan 02, 2005 6:34 am
Well firstly, my deepest sympathy, I know that comforting might not do any more good but well.
Firstly, you can't help it if people pass away, it's not like you can drag them around going, "Nooo!! You can't diee!!!". I don't think so. The positive thin you can think about this is that at least you seen them before they died, at least they probably have seen you before they die. True seeing death may not be a good thing; ok, you may feel helpless just looking at them dying, again, the positive thing I mentioned you can think about.
Start of 05 may not be brilliant, but hey, who knows what would happen next. Such atypical things happening at the beginning does not determine what happens next. Personally I believe that you suffer first and enjoy the joy afterwards and would cherish them more because you know that good things don't last and after all the suffering, this cheerful time will taste even sweeter.
What I've said might not have helped but all that matters is that you need to think through it. I've been through the "not worth living" thing many times, but endure it and just...live on.
And you can have a hug and a bag of cookies
Firstly, you can't help it if people pass away, it's not like you can drag them around going, "Nooo!! You can't diee!!!". I don't think so. The positive thin you can think about this is that at least you seen them before they died, at least they probably have seen you before they die. True seeing death may not be a good thing; ok, you may feel helpless just looking at them dying, again, the positive thing I mentioned you can think about.
Start of 05 may not be brilliant, but hey, who knows what would happen next. Such atypical things happening at the beginning does not determine what happens next. Personally I believe that you suffer first and enjoy the joy afterwards and would cherish them more because you know that good things don't last and after all the suffering, this cheerful time will taste even sweeter.
What I've said might not have helped but all that matters is that you need to think through it. I've been through the "not worth living" thing many times, but endure it and just...live on.
And you can have a hug and a bag of cookies