Enemy (A Poem)

[Jurekazi]

Cloaked in the darkest ebony
Though pure as iv'ry doth be
My soul, it wraps among the hidden
Clouded among shrouded tree
Within the wood, inside the crevices
Shyed away from the few which care
Though not shall I stray from my hiding
I've been taught and learned; my heart, t'is bare.
Tomorrow, it has told me
And yesterday, be warned
Shall it have such effect against us all?
Have these rumors become forlorned?
Beliefs, deceit, it has come to an end
As I step from the forest, from my hiding place
Drop down my cloak, reveal my face
I show the world what I must be
And must show them, I'm their enemy.

T'is a recent poem, written just a moment ago for a profile that I made. My new AIM account's, actually. (It's BeatenScorpion.) Anyway, critique it, comment on it, whatever.

[.:Requiem:.]

Wow.

Certainly makes my poetry look inferior.

Your word choice is amazing, and I love the syntax.

There are a few areas where the rhythm doesn't really fit, but maybe you wanted it that way. I don't know.

[Jurekazi]

Yes, I'm not exactly spectacular at rhyming, though I do thank you for your comments. I've been working on my vocabulary lately, though I must say, I am not exactly wonderful at poetry yet. I have quite a ways to go to be the next Poe, if you understand what I mean. By the way, I'm currently twelve years old, in seventh grade, and no, my teacher didn't make me do this. So. Yep.

[.:Requiem:.]

Really? Wow! I'm the same age. ^.^

Your poetry is wonderful.

I now of aan organization that does poetry contests twice a year..I think one is coing up soon. I'll have to dig up the site, if you want it.

[Tyrannitar]

It's so mysterious and foreboding; I like it. Oh, and I don't know how to use the word 'foreboding', which you probably do with all those creative words. Keep up the good work!