Archives For Neopets Comedy

Chapter 1: Dung — This (*stuff*) never gets old.
Chapter 2: Asparagus — More of the same (just re-read Chapter 1).
Chapter 3: Snot — The other green meat.
Chapter 4: Invisible — Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
Chapter 5: Day 13 — The calendar giveth, the Pant Devil taketh away.
Chapter 6: Assigning Blame
— This was going to be a great chapter, but the garden gnomes caught Neoflu, and Dr. Sloth turned the word processor’s clockwork into sludge, and the rest of us were busy playing a tournament and meeting merchandise contracts and… here, beat up this Pteri, if we remember to tell you how.

1. What to do when a glitch hits – A neopians guide to coping with the regular weekend downtime
2. 101 reasons why TNT still hasn’t finished Neoschools
3. 54 Reasons why Asparagus should be wiped off the face of the earth
4. Neopets: A hobby or a curse?
5. 10 steps to leaving Neopets and never returning
6. Move over Dr Sloth! TCG is all the rage!
7. 100 excuses for Neopets being down
8. 1000 ways to get frozen (not that you need a guide to get frozen)
9. 101 reasons why this won’t be in NT
10. 101 reasons why Neopia is flat
11. 100 reasons why Neopets wont admit to Jelly World (coz it was Adam’s idea…)

A lot of people ask me for tips in what to write in their e-mail to to get their account unfrozen. Well, I figured it might be helpful to know what not to send good ol’ Iris in the event your account gets iced. Take out your notepads, kiddies, you may need to know this stuff some day. Here are the top 10 most unsuccessful things to write in an e-mail to

10. “I didn’t ask anyone for their password, I swear — I just threatened to kill them if they didn’t give it to me!”

9. “It wasn’t me that scammed all those people, my little sister got into my account! I made her write a full confession: ‘hi im matt’s sister & i scammed ppl’ SEE??”