Archives For Neopets Comedy

Do you ever wonder why King Skarl is so grumpy? The world may never know. Here is what TNT tells us: “King Skarl is not happy”. (Would you be happy if everything in your kingdom was destroyed by the forces of Darigan?) BORRRRING!!!!! But we have a pretty good idea why.

He is told HORRIBLE jokes like:

Q: How didn’t you call a flock of brave Chombies similar to for treasure at Garon the Lupe?
A: When it’s don’t her a orb of bubbling Brucey B Combobot paint brushes!

Other reasons:

The jesters all spread rumors about him. BAD JESTER!!
He is told good jokes and expected to laugh.

The secrets of Neopia have always been in abundance, especially the ones which provide neither clue nor relation to the site itself, so I took the incredibly enjoyable duty of recording all of the header comments from the Neopian Times for you to enjoy. Who knows? Maybe they contain the key to get through the locked door in Neoquest I? Or maybe how to get Fyora to be a wee bit more generous with her sales in the Hidden Tower? Or maybe I’m making random suggestions? Or Maybe I should just list them?

• Now with 50% more useless text

Every year, Neopia grows … literally. Not only is our population increasing, the size of our pets are increasing. In 2004, over 64% of adult neopets were overweight, over 30% were obese, and 5% were at the point of no return. Being obese is defined as being 25% or more overweight based on height. The poor pets who suffer from obesity have to endure social displeasures on a daily basis such as constant insecurity and a drastically increased financial burden to themselves and the general public due to health issues related to obesity. Of course it is easy to point the blame at the victims of obesity, but in reality, a number of these unfortunate pets are victims of genetic obesity, inherited by ancestors rather than developed by a large consumption of groceries. No matter how much a pet weighs, he/she is affected by obesity in one way or another. If we separate those who are obese and allow them to live in a specific area of Neopia, it will create an opportunity to eliminate obesity and improve the overall health of this nation.

Kiko wounds all over Neopia heal and they take off their plasters only to reveal white tan marks.

Neopians all over the world reveal a hidden message by the giant sea slug saying; actual size. Officials tell them not to hate him for pretending that he is bigger than he actually is because this is due to the fact he was abused as a child and is under counseling for depression due to his size.

Officials at Roo island finally come to the conclusion building that building the island was a mistake because Dice-A-Roo already had a place in the games room.

In the Igloo Garage Sale game, Carassa finally finds out he could put the items in a box, go downstairs and politely hand them to Mika.

  1. Korbatman
  2. Finding Flotsam
  3. Petpetpets: The First Movie
  4. The Tyrannian Village
  5. Kougrawoman
  6. The Princess Usuki Diaries
  7. Riding Grarrls
  8. Ghost Pets of the Abyss
  9. Techo Soccer
  10. Red Pteri Down
  11. Bill and Ted’s Down For Maintenance Adventure
  12. Neo Wars: The Red Pteri Menace
  13. Attack of the Sloth Clones
  14. Boochi’s First Movie
  15. Auto-Buyer Beware
  16. Wheel Of Monotony: The Movie
  17. Freddy Kougra
  18. Spyderman
  19. What Ever Happend to Dr. Sloth?
  20. Dude, Where’s my SDB?
  21. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turdles
  22. I, Korbat
  23. Mortal Korbat
  24. Krawkzilla (The Dubbed-loon version)
  25. My Fair Ixi
  26. Grarrl: The Musical
  27. The Noil King
  28. Bruce Almighty
  29. Sloth Wars: The Auto-Buyer Menace
  30. Harry The Mutant Moehog and the Prisonor Of Darigan
  31. Anything with NeoSchools in the title
  32. Aristowockies
  33. Neo Wars: The Red Pteri Strikes Back
  34. Brother Yurble
  35. A Ruki’s Life
  36. Ixibi
  37. Lennies Of The Rungs
  38. Lord Of the Fake Plastic Ring of Sloth: The Fellowship Of the Plastic Ring
  39. (more…)