Categories
Neopets Comedy

Top 10 Worst Things to Write in an E-mail to Frozen by ChromeFox

A lot of people ask me for tips in what to write in their e-mail to frozen@neopets.com to get their account unfrozen. Well, I figured it might be helpful to know what not to send good ol’ Iris in the event your account gets iced. Take out your notepads, kiddies, you may need to know this stuff some day. Here are the top 10 most unsuccessful things to write in an e-mail to frozen@neopets.com:

10. “I didn’t ask anyone for their password, I swear — I just threatened to kill them if they didn’t give it to me!”

9. “It wasn’t me that scammed all those people, my little sister got into my account! I made her write a full confession: ‘hi im matt’s sister & i scammed ppl’ SEE??”

Categories
Neopets Comedy

Neopets News Humor by _a_tortured_me_ and spirit_of_whitewolf

Kiko wounds all over Neopia heal and they take off their plasters only to reveal white tan marks.

Neopians all over the world reveal a hidden message by the giant sea slug saying; actual size. Officials tell them not to hate him for pretending that he is bigger than he actually is because this is due to the fact he was abused as a child and is under counseling for depression due to his size.

Officials at Roo island finally come to the conclusion building that building the island was a mistake because Dice-A-Roo already had a place in the games room.

In the Igloo Garage Sale game, Carassa finally finds out he could put the items in a box, go downstairs and politely hand them to Mika.

Categories
Neopets Comedy

Neopian Times Articles That Didn’t Make It

1. What to do when a glitch hits – A neopians guide to coping with the regular weekend downtime
2. 101 reasons why TNT still hasn’t finished Neoschools
3. 54 Reasons why Asparagus should be wiped off the face of the earth
4. Neopets: A hobby or a curse?
5. 10 steps to leaving Neopets and never returning
6. Move over Dr Sloth! TCG is all the rage!
7. 100 excuses for Neopets being down
8. 1000 ways to get frozen (not that you need a guide to get frozen)
9. 101 reasons why this won’t be in NT
10. 101 reasons why Neopia is flat
11. 100 reasons why Neopets wont admit to Jelly World (coz it was Adam’s idea…)

Categories
Neopets Comedy

Neopian Times Header Quotes Revealed by Xil

The secrets of Neopia have always been in abundance, especially the ones which provide neither clue nor relation to the site itself, so I took the incredibly enjoyable duty of recording all of the header comments from the Neopian Times for you to enjoy. Who knows? Maybe they contain the key to get through the locked door in Neoquest I? Or maybe how to get Fyora to be a wee bit more generous with her sales in the Hidden Tower? Or maybe I’m making random suggestions? Or Maybe I should just list them?

• Now with 50% more useless text

Categories
Neopets Comedy

100 Rejected Neopets Movie Titles

  1. Korbatman
  2. Finding Flotsam
  3. Petpetpets: The First Movie
  4. The Tyrannian Village
  5. Kougrawoman
  6. The Princess Usuki Diaries
  7. Riding Grarrls
  8. Ghost Pets of the Abyss
  9. Techo Soccer
  10. Red Pteri Down
  11. Bill and Ted’s Down For Maintenance Adventure
  12. Neo Wars: The Red Pteri Menace
  13. Attack of the Sloth Clones
  14. Boochi’s First Movie
  15. Auto-Buyer Beware
  16. Wheel Of Monotony: The Movie
  17. Freddy Kougra
  18. Spyderman
  19. What Ever Happend to Dr. Sloth?
  20. Dude, Where’s my SDB?
  21. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turdles
  22. I, Korbat
  23. Mortal Korbat
  24. Krawkzilla (The Dubbed-loon version)
  25. My Fair Ixi
  26. Grarrl: The Musical
  27. The Noil King
  28. Bruce Almighty
  29. Sloth Wars: The Auto-Buyer Menace
  30. Harry The Mutant Moehog and the Prisonor Of Darigan
  31. Anything with NeoSchools in the title
  32. Aristowockies
  33. Neo Wars: The Red Pteri Strikes Back
  34. Brother Yurble
  35. A Ruki’s Life
  36. Ixibi
  37. Lennies Of The Rungs
  38. Lord Of the Fake Plastic Ring of Sloth: The Fellowship Of the Plastic Ring